High Off Love

Chapter 15

September 19th

I'm drunk and high, the only way he will stay out if my mind. His face doesn't appear when I get this messed up. I stumble inside my parents house. I use to do this all the time, except with a stranger. I can't do that anymore, because every time I try all I see is Toby.

I walk into the kitchen and get some chips. I have the munchies. I take it upstairs to the bathroom. I might puke. I sit in the bathtub, to eat my dinner. My mom walks in.

"Hey.. that door was shut." I slur. "Wasn't it?"

"Yes, I was wondering who it was coming home at four in the morning." Uh oh someone isn't chill.

I'm so foggy.

"Your drunk and high." She points out the obvious.

"Yep, I'm trippy." I drag out the word trippy.

I throw another chip in my mouth.

"This will be your only warning. No more of this, or your going back to rehab." She really needs to try these magical chips.

My mom walks out and shuts the door back. She won't even remember this, because she takes sleeping medicine. The sleeping medicine makes her not remember things after she takes it.

I pass out in the bathtub.

•••••••••••••••

"I miss us, I miss the cute rehab breakfasts, I miss you picking out movies for us to watch, I miss kissing your lips, but what I miss the most is you loving me." I cry to Toby.

••••••••••••••••

Something drugs, and alcohol can't do is keep the dreams away. I wake up in my bathtub with blood in it. I get up fast, and look in the mirror. I have blood on my nose. The cocaine. Cocaine does this.

I clean the blood off my face, and out of the bathtub. My sister is probably here.

"Alice you have a guest." My sister calls up to me.

Rachel.

I walk down the stairs. I didn't realize what I am wearing 'till I get to where my sister can see me. A tight black dress my makes my boobs pop, and butt. Very slutty.

I motion Rachel to come upstairs with me. We run up the stairs like little kids to my room.

"Last night was so much fun, you are a hilarious, messed up person." Thanks...?

I give a little fake laugh.

"Why do you get so messed up?" My only friend asks.

"I need something to keep him off my mind. He haunts me, and if I'm high or drunk he will stay away. It's ironic, cause, it's actually like that." It's true, if I'm doing that stuff he doesn't want to be around me, but if I'm not he loves me.

"You've told me a little about Toby, what it sounds like to me is, you either give this up for him, or give him up for this." She gestures at me.

That's exactly it. I can't have both.

I nod slowly.

"I'm not picking yet." I finally say.

I have time to choose. I know it should be Toby and not illegal stuff, but it is all so good.

(Yep, it's short but big things are coming! I promise! xx)