High Off Love

Chapter 24

October 1st

As he opens his mouth to tell me what is wrong with him my hand covers his lips. "Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

"No, you need to know." His eyes are filling with tears, but mine have already poured.

I'm speechless, I don't want it to be some killing sickness and not have my Toby anymore. I know time doesn't help, time kills, and the only thing time does is remind you how long the person has been gone. You will count hour by hour, day by day, then once you forget how many hours the person has been gone you feel horrible, so you need to numb your pain then you go do something stupid, but after it's too late you remember you said you would behave.

I realize I just said that out loud.

Toby opens his mouth as if he is going to say something. Nothing comes from his perfect lips.

"It's a t-" I plug my ears and start making some kind of noise that drowns out his voice. "I'm going to have to tell you someday." He yells making everyone look at us.

I stand without saying a word.

"Go get in the car, I'm going to tell my mom that you got sick and we should do it another time." He looks me in my dark eyes.

"Of course your going to lie." I mumble, and Toby heard me.

"I just thought you would want to leave." He try's to defend himself.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight, but you just seem very quick to lie. You have lied to me multiple times and it's not good, now your lying to your mom. I hate lies Toby." I start to get goosebumps.

"Fine I will go tell them that you want to leave." He makes a face where I know he is getting mad.

"That's lying too. I want to go back in there and have a nice conversation about something else besides your sickness shit you have going on." I blurt out.

"Well, that's what you get when you date a sick person, people care." How did this escalade so quickly.

"Let's not fight, please." I close my eyes just to imagine us getting along for a whole day.

"Go get in the car." He points toward it, but I do as he says.

I get in the car and the song Habits is on. It just reminds me of what I was feeling when Toby left me.

Stay high all the time to keep you off my mind.

He gets in the car and the song ends.

"Your birthday is in two days." He breaks the silence half way to his apartment.

I nod slowly. I completely forgot my birthday was coming up.

"Are you going to the doctor with me tomorrow?" He asks turning into the parking lot.

"No." I feel him looking at me.

We get out of the car and walk up the many stairs. He walks through his door and won't take his eyes off me.

"Well, I bought this dress for no reason." I look down at my dress.

"Well, now I finally get to take it off of you." He starts kiss me with his perfect lips.

His tongue moves over mine perfectly. He finds my zipper. His hands perfectly tug at the top of my dress. Every kiss, my stomach flutters. He kisses my neck as I moan his name slowly. My dress has been completely removed, along with the rest of Toby's clothes.

.....

"Can we just stay in this moment forever?" I ask laying in his arms.

"I wish that was possible." He losses eye contact with me.