High Off Love

Chapter 40

December 2nd

I wake up at three in the afternoon. I first check to make sure I have all my clothes on, next look at my surroundings, then see who is next to me. My clothes are on, I'm at my apartment, and Zack is next to me with his clothes on as well. I sit up in my bed and get presented with a bad headache.

I get out of bed. Memories of last night flash through my mind. Me taking ecstasy was a big mistake. Toby walking away from me, my old drug dealer pushing me, getting stuck on the ground, my dad talking to Toby, Toby disappearing into nothing, and Zack showing up out of nowhere just like everyone else.

I get in the shower. I don't know what was real last night and what was hallucinations. My dad was a hallucination, and my old drug dealer. A part of me knows Toby was a hallucination, but I wish it was real. I would do anything just to see him once more. I get out of the shower and get dressed with the clothes I brought in the bathroom with me. I think back to rehab, when I walked out of my bathroom and Toby was on my bed, then offered me some Twizzlers.

I walk out of my bathroom and find Zack sitting up in my bed. His shoes are still on. I lick my lips and try to avoid eye contact.

"What the hell was last night about?" He starts the conversation.

"There are some things I need to tell you." I sit down on the bed next to him.

"You think?"

"My past isn't very pretty." I look at him to see if he is really listening. "I did a lot of drinking and drugs in high school, then I had to drop out to go to rehab. I left rehab early, and went home, that wasn't the smartest choice either. Last night would have been a normal night for me four or five months ago." I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"So your a druggy?" He makes a confused face.

"Not really anymore, besides last night. It's been a while since I've done drugs." There is really no way for me to comfort him in this situation. I don't want him worrying about me all the time. "Where did you find me?" I cringe, scared to hear the answer.

"The bartender called me from your phone. You were pretty entertaining to some people." He rolls his eyes. "From your hallucinations you were saying some crazy stuff."

"Listen, that won't happen again." I try to assure him.

"I should go. I'll be back in a little bit." I can't tell if he is upset with me.

"Alright I'll cook us some food!" I chime and jump out of bed. "I might not be that good, but I'm in a cooking mood."

"How about I go home and take a shower, then I'll come back over and we will cook." He gives me a kiss. "Do you even have food to cook?"

"Yeah that might be a problem. I don't have any food you like." I move my lips to one side. "It's all healthy."

"Then you could just come over to my apartment." He gives me a smile.

"Alright I'll be over in a little bit."

"You can just come on in and I will have everything ready to start cooking." I'm really glad he isn't acting upset about last night. Toby would have been furious, and we probably would have gotten into a fight.

As soon as Zack leaves I run back to my room and check my phone. I want to make sure I didn't text or call anyone. Good thing I didn't.

I look in the mirror and realize I still look awful, even after taking a shower. I put some makeup on and dry my hair. It helps a little bit, but I just look worse than I feel. The headache has faded a lot. I have never had bad hangovers, if I have them at all.

After waiting a while, I slip my shoes on and walk over to Zack's apartment. I open the door and walk in as told. There aren't any cooking things out. Zack walks out of his room only in jeans, and no shirt. "I thought you were going to be a while." He greets me with a smile, and his amazing body.

"Yeah, I was just.. um walking here over to abs.." I forgot what I was going to say. I just said abs. What is wrong with me? His flawless body has made me feel all flirty and just want to kiss him. I find myself walking toward him while talking.

He reaches past me to grab his shirt off the couch. He starts to unfold it. I don't want him to be covered up. I swat the shirt from his hands, and all of a sudden I find myself making out with him. He removes my shirt and kisses me on my neck. My phone starts to ring.

"Just ignore it." I almost whisper. We make our way to his bed, removing the rest of our clothing.
....

Toby never showed up in my head. I never saw his face. It's been one month since I've talked to Toby, and a month and three days since we broke up.

"We never cooked anything." Zack breaks the silence.

I hop out of bed and put my clothes back on. "I'm starving."

He gets out of bed and puts his clothes on as well. We walk into the kitchen. "What should we cook?"

I grab my phone and see Rachel has called a lot and texted me sixteen times. "I'm sorry I have to call Rachel back." I go in the living room and call her.

"Finally, are you alone?" She answers frantically.

"No I'm with Zack."

"Well tell him you have to go. This is really important."

"I- I really can't." I stutter.

"You didn't cheat on Toby!" She says loudly.

My mouth falls open. I'm speechless. I don't know what to say. "I'll call you back." I hang up the phone. I pace in his living room.

"Zack I am so so sorry, but I have to go see Rachel. I'll see you when I get back. I really am so sorry." I grab my purse and leave quickly.

I run to my room and call Rachel back. "How do you know I didn't cheat on him?"

"I was talking to Will, one of my many roommates, and he mentioned something about walking in on you half naked with a guy, so I made him tell me the whole thing. He walked in before you actually had sex with anyone." She explains almost too fast for me to grasp it.

I take a deep breath. I know I kissed someone else, but I never had sex with him. "I just had sex with Zack." I break the news to Rachel.

"Well now it's time to come stay with me and then go find Toby. He needs to know that he broke up with you for no reason."

I know I'm going back to Toby, but I don't know what to do about Zack. Zack has been really nice, and there for me. Rachel tells me I should just tell Zack the truth. We hang up. I should probably tell Zack sooner than later.

I walk slowly back over to his apartment. I knock, slowly. I feel so bad. He opens his door and smiles. "What's going on?" His smile fades as he reads my expression.

"I need to go home." I blurt. I need to go see Toby. I hope he will want to be with, and he will leave that girl he was with when Rachel saw him. I feel my insides light up as I think of seeing Toby again.