High Off Love

Chapter 35

November 2nd

I can't loose him again and I'm so afraid that I will. I walk up to his apartment door and knock on the door.

"Why are you here?" Toby answers. "I thought I made it pretty clear I never want to see you again." He takes a drink out of the bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"I came to talk." I look at the whiskey then back at him.

"Does this bother you?" He looks at the bottle of whiskey.

"I'm worried about you." I walk toward him but he backs away into his apartment. "Can I come in?"

"You probably will anyways." He walks back to the living room and sits down.

I sit down on the chair.

"What did you come here to talk about?" Pain flashes across his face as he looks into my eyes.

"Us." I answer.

"It's almost midnight, and you came here to talk about something that is over?" He raises his eyebrows.

"We don't have to be over. I still love you." It's been a whole day since I've seen him, but I missed him so much.

"Don't." He looks away from me. "You cheated on me. You had sex with someone else, and I can't look at you the same."

"Do you not love me?" I've already started crying. I wanted to be strong and not cry in front of him, but maybe I'm just a coward.

"Of course I do. That's why this is so difficult." He runs his hand through his hair. That's my one favorite things he does.

"How many times do you want me to tell you I'm sorry? I will spend the rest of my life saying it and showing it." I try to grab his hand, but he pulls it away.

"You should leave town." I can tell he is trying to hold his tears back. It kills me to see him so sad. I have broke him. "You should let me go." He tells me. "Because I'm going to let you go. No matter what it takes." He takes a drink from the whiskey again.

I shake my head. "I can't." I wipe away my tears.

"Then leave town. I'm leaving to Florida for a few months. Even if it means seeing other people." He tells me. All I want to do is hug him. "You should leave." Toby pours his whiskey into a glass.

"I love you." I look back at him and step out of the door. I'm so stupid. I just made it so much harder for us.

I will go to New York. Toby is right, I need to let go of him.
....
November 3rd

I'm in New York, sitting on the couch of my fancy new apartment, looking over the city of Manhattan. It's time I try and let go of Toby. I won't be able to let go of him for a while, but I have to start sometime.

I put my hair in a pony tail, and change out of my sweat pants. I look awful from crying and the lack of sleep. I slip some shoes on and walk to the street to get a cab.

People all around me are getting in cabs and I can't seem to get one.

"Not from around here are you?" A hot guy asks me.

"Not at all." I smile at him.

A cab pulls up for him. "Here I'll get another one." He returns the smile.

The coffee shop I'm going too isn't that long of a walk from my apartment, but I just didn't feel like walking in the crowds that far.

We pull up to the coffee shop. I hand the cab driver money and get out. The coffee shop reminds me of the one Toby's parents had. I order my coffee and sit down.

"How ironic." The guy that helped me get a cab says and chuckles.

I look up at him and just smile.

"I'm Alex." He sticks his hand out.

"I'm Alice." I shake his hand.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" He looks around the empty coffee shop. "It's just so packed in here." Alex says sarcastically.

"Sure." I giggle.

"So why did you move to New York?" He questions.

"Just needed a fresh start and to keep my mind off of some stuff." I sigh and take a drink of my coffee.

"This city will surely keep you busy. There is lots to do here." He assures me.

I catch myself looking into his deep brown eyes.

"Well I'm going to go. It was nice talking to you." I throw my coffee away.

"Do you need help getting a cab again?" He asks.

"No, but thanks. I'm going to walk." I walk out of the coffee shop.

I don't know what to do for the rest of the day. I don't have any friends, or know the area.

You could go back to the coffee shop and ask Alex to show you around town.

Sometimes I really hate myself for thinking of this stuff. No I can't go ask that extremely attractive guy anything. I probably won't ever see him again.

I walk into my apartment building, and Zack is checking his mail.

Alight this is just weird.

"Hello again, neighbor." He greets me and looks down at my keys that I have to get into my apartment.

"I thought this was a huge city." I don't know why I keep seeing this same guy.

"Uh, it is. I don't get why you happen to be everywhere." His eyes go wide as if he was afraid he upset me. "I mean I don't have a problem seeing you. Your very pretty, so it is good to keep seeing you." He starts to babble.

"I get it." I laugh and walk up the stairs to my apartment.

Maybe we can be friends, since I will be seeing him a lot. I could use a friend right now. I have Rachel, but she is back home. I have nothing to do. Maybe I'll go shopping, but I should probably change my shirt.

I walk over to my closet. It's all so dark. I'm tired of all these dark colors. I start pulling clothes that I just recently unpacked out of my closet, and on my bed. I pull out most of my clothes. It's time for a change.