High Off Love

Chapter 36

November 4th

I bought a whole new wardrobe. I was tired of all the dark. I need to move on from Toby and if it takes not wearing the clothes I wore with him, then that is what I will do, also colored my hair a lighter brown. I try to imagine what Toby would think about it.

"Do you want to go get a drink with me tonight?" Zack interrupts my thoughts.

Am I trying not to drink? "Sure." I reply and continue to think of Toby. I just want to talk to him and see how he is doing. I want to know what he is doing right now. We didn't go on very many dates, but that was alright. We could just sit around all day and be happy.

"I will pick you up at eight?" Zack confirms.

I nod my head. He leaves my apartment. Toby and I clicked, and Zack doesn't click with me like Toby. I'm going to try to be friends with Zack because I don't have any friends here. Maybe this will help me get over Toby.

I start to get ready for tonight. I need to be able to stay in control on how much I drink. I will not sleep with anyone tonight. I will not get drunk tonight.

I skip to my room to find something to wear. I still have some clothes that I wore with Toby and I have a couple of his shirts from when I slept in them, so I push them to the side and continue to look through my new clothes.

I pick out one of my new outfits and curl my hair. I walk around bored out of my mind just waiting for it to be eight. Finally he knocks.

"Hey!" I chime and walk out of my door. I'm excited to actually do something. I've done nothing all day.

We walk out to the street where a cab is already waiting. Zack opens the door for me.

"So where are we going?" I question as the cab starts to drive.

"We are going to get drinks." He smiles.

I watch all the commotion out the window until we come to a stop. I slide out of the car and see fancy older people. These people look like the people at my moms parties. I try and act like I'm happy to be there. Honestly, I'd rather be back at my apartment counting the tiles on the floor.

Zack puts his arm around my back. I force myself not to jump away. Everyone stares at us, probably because we are way underdressed.

I grab a champagne, but Zack takes it away from me and puts it back. I give him a questioning look.

"We aren't staying here." He points to the back curtain that is being guarded by a big man.

The big man lets us past the curtain. Behind the curtain is a loud club. It's better than that last place, but I guess I was just expecting something Toby would do. Toby would take me somewhere romantic and then we would go do something else fun. I don't exactly know what he would do, but he always took me on the best dates when we went on them.

He leads me through the crowded club to the back at a VIP section. I stare off into the crowd watching people dance. A part of me missed the old me, but the rest of me loves the new me because Toby helped make her.

"Do you want to dance?" He asks while sliding my drink over.

"Sure." I reply and drink down the shot.

We stand up and go toward all the dancing people. Images of girls dancing up against Toby that aren't me flash into my mind. Toby is out of my life he needs to leave my mind now.

I take two more shots, but he just shows up more and more. I rush out of the club. His face is showing up everywhere, his smile, his eyes, the way he runs his hands through his hair when he gets aggravated. He is everywhere. I even hear his laugh. I run outside into the cool fresh air.

"Alice what's wrong?" Zack rushes after me.

"I just needed some air." I lean up against the wall.

He walks toward me and grabs my hands. Toby use to do something similar to this.

"Do you want to leave?" He inches closer.

"Yeah." I look down.

He moves my head up toward him. His brown eyes are kind, but not near as interesting as Toby's.

Zack leans his face toward me. I look over and a dark hair guy catches my eye. It isn't Toby, but it is the same color hair as his. I can't kiss Zack. I try to scoot away but I'm up against the wall, so I just hug him. I just ruined this night.

I release him from the hug and stand awkward. This is one of those moments where I don't know what to do with my hands.

"Well I'm going to go and pretend I didn't just hug you instead of kiss you." I smile and go towards the curb.

He chuckles a little bit and joins me by the curb. "Let's just hang out." We get in the cab that just pulled up.

I didn't get drunk tonight. I think I would have if my imagination of Toby didn't show up everywhere. I miss him so much.