High Off Love

Chapter 11

September 2nd

I'm at a bar with Rachel, and it's the middle of the night. She is buying me drinks.

"So would you rather be drunk or high?" Rachel asks.

"High." I answer.

We have laughed so much tonight. I take another drink.

"Why have you only had one drink?" I ask barley making a sentence.

"I just don't like to get drunk all the time."

"Well.. You gotta drink. with me." I slur.

She laughs at me.

"Let me help you home."

...

I wake up to my mom vacuuming the hallway outside my room. I get up to take a shower. I think of the time Toby came in my room while I was in the shower, then saw me naked.

I get out and get dressed in one of my old outfits. I open a cabinet on my desk. A blue band falls out. I use to wrap it around my arm before I would inject meth into it. I take the scissors and cut it up into pieces.

I go downstairs of the big house. My mom is cleaning the bar. There is a bar with no alcohol, but I bet they hid it somewhere.

"Oh good your dressed we are going out to lunch with your sister." My mom says smiling at me. "Please be nice to her."

"I'm not a nice girl." I state, then walk off.

I check my phone. Still no call or text from Toby. I was hoping he was just trying to scare me and he would try and talk to me by now, but another part of me knows that he's gone.

My mom walks back over to me and looks at my outfit.

"You change into something else." She says wrinkling up her nose.

"What's wrong with a crop top with shorts?"

"Those aren't even shorts, they are panties, and the shirt isn't even covering up half of your stomach, and it's showing too much cleavage."

"I'm eighteen years old I can decide what I wear." I stand up for myself.

My mom ignores me and walks off. I get behind the bar and search for alcohol.

Found it.

I take the whiskey and run it up to my room. I put it under my bed like I use to. As I slide it under there I feel something else under there. I pull it out. It looks like a big bag of weed. Of course I kept this.

"Alice, let's go." My mother calls for me.

"I'm not going." I yell back down the stairs.

"John is at work, so nobody will be here with you." John is my step dad. "I don't want you to mope."

"I'm going to hangout with a friend." I say pulling out my phone from my purse.

I hear the door shut, so I call Rachel.

"Hey I have some weed want to come over?" I say excitedly.

"I don't smoke, but I will come over and make sure you don't do anything stupid." She is a goody goody.

In about twenty minutes Rachel is here.

"You can't smoke that inside your parents will know." Rachel states the obvious.

"I'm going on the roof." I giggle.

I roll up the drugs, open the bottle of whiskey, and go through my window on the roof. I use to do this all the time.

"Will you get me my lighter?" I request.

Rachel grabs the lighter and comes out on the roof with me. As I am about to light it up, my phone rings.

"Toby" lights up on the screen.

Toby. My Toby.

I drop everything in my hands, get into my room, sprint down the stairs, sprint to the driveway.

"Hello?" I say too fast.

"Hey Alice." His voice is perfect.

"Hey." I try not to sound too desperate.

"Are you ok?" My love asks.

Well am I ok? I think of what I was just about to do, and what I what I have been doing that he would disapprove of.

"No, I'm not." I answer honestly.