Struggles (L.H)

why me?

~zoom to next week~

well I'm the worst person in the world...the mystery girl hates me because I hit her boyfriend last week ughh.

now she won't talk to me and everyone except Ashton won't talk to me even Calum!!

My notifications for my social networking sites are full of threats ,more than usual saying I should've succeeded at ending everything when I wanted to die. EVERYTHING has escalated even more bad then what it was.

1.mom's beatings are more hurtful than they were.

2.everyone hates me.

3.my depression and anxiety is worse

4.brother moved out for good.

5.mom's addictions are worse

6. I started to cut again.

EVERYTHING is worse than before.

the only pro I have is Ashton but soon he will leave everyone always does.

"LUKE GET HERE NOW" ughh what could I have possibly done now? might as well go see what her problem is. I race downstairs to find her breaking yet another beer bottle .

"did you drink my last beer Luke?hmm TELL THE TRUTH THIS TIME" she holders in my face ,I can smell the alcohol in her breath she's had quite a few by the looks of it.

"I didn't drink anything,plus I'm not even the age limit so why would I drink ?! YOU probably drank it mom!" before I know it I'm hit and I fell on the ground....here we go again .

she kicks me and throws the bottle at me ...she doesn't miss it.

"YOUR NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS FAT MISTAKE!I SHOULD HAVE GAVE YOU UP TO A FOSTER HOME YOU PIECE OF SHIT" with that being said I run to my room and grab a duffle bag and place some clothes and my I pod in it as fast as possible and I go out my bedroom window landing on the concrete safely since I've done it before.

I run and run. and run till.I reach the park...my ankle is killing me for it is bleeding . i make my way to the restroom that they have in the park...I need to take care of this.

I look into the mirror to see my scars reopened from the glass she threw and I didn't have my bracelets on so everyone of course was able to see.

worthless.fat.mistake. piece of shit .

she's right though .... I am nothing more than those words. I mean my dad left me and mom because of me being born.

everyone hates me because I hurt her boyfriend ....so that ment I hurt her in some theoretic way.

I decided to call Ashton to pick me up after I clean the wound with water and sit on the park bench.

I soon then see my only pal Ashton.

"over here!" I yell directing him torwards me.

he runs over  here  to the bench but stops and gasps at me.

"what?"I ask ...like I'm not that ba-oh yeah I'm wearing a muscle shirt with no bracelets.....I forgot that.shit.

"what the hell happened LUCAS?" he asks grabbing my duffle bag leading me to the car.

"well um you see my mom she uh I made her mad and she hit me and I fell on glass ...it was only one time!" the lie rolls off my tounge,it was kinda the truth...I've lied to them before about my situation at home and stuff.

"you really expect me to believe that it was one time? I know you ! you're not as clumsy as you claim to be!!" he just sighs and we sit there in a somewhat comfortable silence to his house. the gang is all here....great.