Struggles (L.H)

days pass ,but you're all im thinking about.

///I'm baaack....surprise motherfukaaaassssssssss/////

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    it's ...I think it's like Friday and or something like that..it's been a month since I met desandnate and Dan Howell/Phil....and everything went fine but there's this one thing....

  I'm in the hospital .

yeah I know what you think...oh the loser tried it again ,what this time?.

   well you know what?I fucking had it. after I get out of here I have to go into a fucking foster home. a fucking foster home!!

   they said since I repeatedly came here sometimes and they got the conclusion mom beats me...I have to go into a home.

   it's been a fucking stupid MONTH and the band can't return to tour till I get placed.so...in conclusions to that it's going to take another 5weeks to get out of here and until I get placed I have to live with a cops family for a bit till I get placed....which from what they said could take months...maybe even years.

on the bright side tho.. Stella came to see me .she came every day no matter what her schedule was..she even put off some of her dance rehearsals to see me.she even stayed a few nights here and when she can't be here she facetimes me.

  just as I was about to get up the doctors come in...guess it's time for my meds and body check...oh look the lads are here.

   great just fucking wonderful.

"ahh,Luke I see you've awoken from your sleep finally" Dr.Lindsay said to me....WTF since when was she a fucking  Shakespeare?

."yeah I did what the fuck do you want ?tell me I'm psychotic?!" ...it's true ever since I stepped in they were like"oh the crazy is back"and I want to fucking kill them all.

   "look , it's time to for your meds and we need to see if you have harmed again.and your friends want to help by making you happy." I look at the boys they all smile ...a smile just a little too broken.

  "Fine just do it." I finally say to them as I take off my shirt ...they only check my super half not below my waist...I cut on my thigh last night.

they check and I take my meds ...which is not much I guess..one for depression,anxiety,and some other anti

depression thing med.

     "okay Luke, would you like to start your therapy ?" are they crazy in front of my friends?! you know what whatever...I fucking give up on everything.

   "whatever I don't fucking care. just let me die already you dumbasses." they were just kinda  staring at me like some inhumane thing .

    then the therapist ...Logan? I think is his name.. he comes in and sits in a chair at the foot of my bed . I sit up close to him in my nirvana shirt and sweats. everyone except the doctors are here...why the fuck didn't my plan work?

    

                      why didn't I die?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  hey guys! sorry it took so long and it's a bit confusing..I felt bad for not updating. even though I feel like shit wrighting this made it a bit better .....

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