it's been Atleast like three days that I have been in me and stella's room.
all I want to do is sleep everything off....it makes me feel close to death.
I haven't ate in three weeks except for bread.
my body is covered in cuts and scars ,I can't keep control of the monster inside me. It seems to get more worse every day.
the beatings,the hallucinations,and the temptation .
everyone keeps asking me why and how I get mysterious wounds and bruises . ... I can't tell them it's my mum or else we go back to Sydney.
there is no way in hell am I going to ruin everything again.
I have kept my life a secret since I was in the second or third grade,so I sure the hell can keep it now.
I still haven't came out of the room or talked ,unless I needed the restroom or a piece of bread and water.
the only person I would talk to was Stella...she is really mad I can tell as she is stressed and confused by me.
I finally got her eating regularly and she also stopped harming herself. she promised me that she was going to stop ,and she did...except I didn't keep my promise to her.
we had promised each other we would get better for each other,but she was the only one who did. I feel so shitty for letting her down and lying to her like my mum always has .
"Lucas? can I come in ?"
"of course you can stell it's your room too!"sometimes she is the weirdest person ever.
" Oh yeah it is ,anyway everyone wants you to come downstairs"
"why ?"
"well we need help planning Ashton birthday party,and we need all the ideas we can get!"
shit I almost forgot what day it is..I'm a horrible friend.
"um em okay can I shower and stuff ,I'll only take a sec"I say pointing at myself .
"of course you can , me and the others will be downstairs"
as she makes her statement she leaves ,and I quickly grab clothes .
I grabbed a black longsleve and black jeans. basically my usual.
I shower in the scolding hot water which burns me ,but I don't care what happens ...I'm basically numb.
I quickly get out as I throw on my clothes and comb my hair into its usual fringe.
*~*~*~*~*
as soon as I find everyone in the kitchen everyone kinda just looks at me coldly.
"um Luke,have you eaten lately?" niall pipes up breaking the silence. I simply nod yes and he believes me ,except Stella gives me a death glare...she knows that truth.
"here come sit down ! we need help planning this!!"
Calum says panicking.
"cals right it's tomorrow and we don't even have anything!"mikey said.
"welll....how about we just like combine everything he loves.."I suggest and they all look at me.
"LUCAS you are a fucking genius!"they say to me as I write down his favorite things off the top of my head.
1.my little pony.
2.vegemite
3.family guy.
4.James Morrison.
5.hayely Williams.
6.banana
7.ice skating.
8.vans
9.bandanas
10.spaghetti.
11.Hercules (the movie)
12.chocolate chip ice cream
13.John Mayer.
14.pineapple
15.Dragon ball z
16. vanilla scented candles.
I finally stop at sixteen since my hand was cramping and they were impatient. It's really random things he likes...but I think we can work with it...
plus it's his eighteen birthday ...soo we are going to make it Awsome.
"what kind of info does this help us Luke?"Harry asks me.
"well nimrod ,it's his favorite things he loves ,especially vanilla candles....he loves those way more than mlp."
"mlp?"
"my little pony"the boys and I say in unison.
"he loves my little pony?!" they ask us.
"he might love it almost as much as his scented candle !"Michael says.
"WAIT how about we get all the celebrity ppl he loves to the party and get mlp decorations with vanilla scented candles around the room and get him Dragon ball z merch!!!"
"Stella you are the genus of the world." we say to her...and for a minute I thought we were going to be arguing about my little pony.
"OHHH and how about we hold his party at the ice skating rink?and get his favorite foods to eat ?!" Liam says adding on to stell's idea.
"yup let's do that! let's go ....." Michael pauses and then puts his hands in a girly motion.," SHOPPINGGG!" he finishes in a girly voice....I sometimes think he is gay or something,not like I don't like gay or bi ppl,etc. I just wonder sometimes ..and you never know maybe his real name is Michelle......I don't know it was just a thought haha sometimes I just should be a detective.
"Luke why are you laughing?"Michael asks me as they stare at me weirdly.
"Um inside joke?"
"you my friend are the weirdest of them all"... maybe I am but Louis and Niall/Calum are the ones who are not me!.
"shut up let's just get everything ready."
_-_-_- TO BE CONTINUED-_-_-_
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was up bitchessss ?! how you doing ? Because I feel like absolute shit ! hahah I'm the worst.
thanks for getting me like 200 and something reads .
ilysm like for really I do. you guys make my day .
and sorray for the grammar and stuff because fucking auto correct ruins my life.
this really is just a filler tbh ,but I felt bad for not updating.
AND ASHTON WILL SOON BE FUCKING TWENTY HOLY SHITT.IS IT RAINING?!I THINK IT IS.
vote.comment.share?
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Struggles (L.H)
FanficLuke Robert hemmings is having a normal hangout when a mystery girl is in the picture.Will he chase after her or just give up after suspicions?or will his anxiety get the best of him???and or will his own troubles stop him? Will he and his mates b...
