Redemption [3]

Telling The Truth

Get ready for some feels because this chapter will lead up to some amazing drama and love for Ella.

During one of my breaks in between classes, I sat down to finish Dan's novel. First time I just skimmed through it reading the sections that caught my eye and now I'm wanting to read Dan's work. I was surprised how honestly and might I say harsh he portrayed Serena's character, Sabrina. I always thought he was caught up in Serena world waiting for her to tell him when they can be an item again, but how he writes her in the book shows her off as uncaring selfish and absorbed in her own life. None of these are false accusations, but he left out the portion where Serena is one of the most caring people in the world and so compassionate that she places those she loves above her own needs.

What surprised me above all else is the sex scene Dan wrote his character and Blair's. I knew they became friends, but I had no idea that it was turning into something more. No one could see Dan and Blair as an item, but somehow Dan saw something in their relationship that he wanted more of. By the time, I got back to the portion that involved me I had a smile on my face reading about how he saw our adventures together. I felt the complete happiness that followed those amazing memories and going down memory lane reminded me why I became friends with Dan in the first place. When I came to the part where our characters started to fall in love it made me wonder if Dan really saw us like this. The way he described how Dylan looked at Eliza and how her smile was the only thing that could make his day brighter was intriguing, to say the least. What broke my heart more was reading Dylan's heartbreak when Eliza stood him up on their wedding day. She couldn't bear to venture into a life with him forever because she was scared of her own future. She saw herself just as alone in the world as Dylan and would rather stay that way than disappointed him in the future.

Did Dan really see me as someone alone in this crazy world I live in? Sure, I have my friends and family, but a majority of my time is juggling Columbia and flying back in forth for work. I occasionally see Val, but those times have come to fewer meetings. My schedule never aligns with his anymore and neither of us is willing to move to each other's cities. Val's life and whole family is in L.A. and mine is in New York. I have always known that no matter how far I go for work I can always count on the big apple being mine forever home. It's where I was born, raised, and grew into the person I can be proud of today. But am I alone? Ever since Blair's engagement and her moving out I've been coming back to our apartment alone. Serena is working none stop and it's easier for her to crash at Lily's or even Eleanor's than it is to travel all the way to the Upper West Side. Charlie has been around, but I barely know anything about her, so I guess I have been feeling alone. When did Dan sense this about me? Was it when I was one of the only people living away from everyone else or was it when I was trying to juggle the world? Either way, maybe his portrayal of me is right.

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There was a knock at my door that brought me out of my reading. I placed Dan's book down on the couch and headed to see who it was. I was surprised to see Nate on the other side.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in so long." We hug each other.

"Yeah, I've been busy with my new job and you've been traveling the world none stop."

"Yeah, I'm trying to take it easy right now because of Blair's wedding come up and everything. Come inside please, we haven't talked you and me since..."

"Since you told me that the kiss was possibly a mistake." I nod my head knowing that I haven't made things easy for Nate. I lead him into my place and we sit down next to each other on the couch.

"I see you've been reading Dan's book." He picks up the book and looks at what part I'm at.

"Yeah, I went to his book party and he gave me my official copy."