Reasons to Live | ✔

Chapter 34-

Chapter 34-

"You two seemed to be awfully quiet," Caleb said as he took a bite of his lobster roll. We were all sitting inside a seafood restaurant located in Fisherman Wharf. It was somewhat crowded as many people were outside eating with their friends and family for Christmas.

I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable with his question as I knew why but didn't know how to explain it to them it was because of Paul, my ex boyfriend. Calvin seemed pissed that he came over without an explanation and he knew that I knew that he was coming over and yet, I didn't say anything about it either.

I wonder how mad he'll be if found out I'm working with him and his parents to potential put my rapist to jail.

I darted my eyes to Caleb and then quickly to Calvin but his expression was unreadable. His lack of reaction made her even more antsy than before. He was wearing a simple navy blue shirt that loosely fitted him. His hair was a mess-like always- with strands poking out. He looked tired but he wouldn't state why. Although, I had a suspicion it had to do with me.

Upon realizing I was staring, his eyes quickly scanned over to me but I couldn't make out anything he was thinking at all from his expression. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he stiffly turned away.

Ever since the incident two days ago, Calvin had been distant to me. Even Joshua, Megan and Andy were a bit taken a back by what was happening between us when we all hung out yesterday on Christmas Eve. I didn't tell anyone that Paul came over to my house because it would cause a bigger issue than it already was.

Half the time, I really was close to cracking and telling Calvin that Paul knew what happened to me and that I was going to file a report against my rapist but I always managed to stop myself before I can.

Why?

Because I was ashamed of the whole thing. Although Calvin knew about my story, he still accepted me for who I was. If he knew anymore or was perhaps reminded of what really did happen again, he might wake up and leave me.

I would much rather keep quiet until the case was closed and then tell him about the whole thing. Even if it meant hiding and keeping a secret from him, so long as his views on me didn't change...I'm okay with that.

But Paul liked to fuck us up and put our relationship to the test by making Calvin feel like Paul was still interested in me, which he wasn't.

My stomach tightened and churned at the thought of lying to Calvin but I had too.

But now that I am looking back at it, was it worth it?

Even when he came to pick me up in his car, we barely exchanged a word.

Becca frowned when she saw the way we were acting with one another.

"Calvin?" Becca asked.

"What?" he replied as he finally glanced up from his untouched plate of food to look at his sister. Becca looked worried as she brushed her messy brown hair with her fingers and she shifted when she noticed the atmosphere between us. She wore yet another simple blue flower patterned dress in her wheelchair with her plush bear on her lap. Her right hand fingers were covered in bandage because she had been drawing nonstop since she moved with Caleb as she was a artist freelancer.

"Are you fighting with your best friend?"

Caleb chocked on his food when we all heard Becca's question.

Although it was just a simple question, it asked the question that even Joshua and Megan didn't dare ask neither me or Calvin yesterday. I sneaked a glance at Calvin who again, was wearing a poker face to hide whatever he was thinking.