Letting Love In

Chapter 4, Part 1

SQUIRREL AND ESTHER only joined us after Jonny did. Our group of three suddenly became five when two random kids ran up to us and kicked me in the shin, each. I fell onto the ground in a childish and overdramatic way, and just like that, the friendship began. I guess all of our friendships started with some kind of bullying, which is not a very good thing.

Squirrel's real name is Brian Williams. He introduced himself to us as Brian, and Esther as Esther. I always held a grudge against them for just kicking me in the shin, and so I thought I had to get back at them. For Esther, I decided to steal some gum -- and by some I mean a ball of gum as big my small fists at that time -- from my mom and stick that into her hair. Jonny was there to help as well. Rian didn't want to be a part of it because she said she had gum in her hair already and it wasn't fun. Anyway, I gave Jonny about six strips of gum and I chewed the same amount. When it was all chewed up, we balled it together -- disgusting, I know, but we were kids -- and during recess, when she had her eyes closed to count to ten for us to hide, I went up behind her and with the gum in my palm, I slapped her behind her head then rubbed it in. Esther began to cry, like a little girl that she is. I still don't know if she was crying because I slapped her in the back of her head or because she felt the gum in her long, perfect, blonde hair. I ran off afterward and fell down laughing. I thought 'That'll teach her to kick me in the foot!' She came to school after that with short, imperfect, blonde hair. I don't think she ever did find out it was me who did that to her. She and I were playing as usual. To get back at her I also put a lizard inside of her lunch, and laughed as she screamed. But after all of that, we were friends.

To get back at Squirrel, I did little things, like always secretly tell the teacher when he did something wrong, or steal his snacks everyday in secret and throw them in the trash if I didn't want it, and if I did, I'd hurriedly eat them. There was another time when were all playing outside Rian's place. This was during the Christmas season, when everyone redecorated and whatnot. There was a very large, empty paint bucket behind her house, and I remember hitting him in the head with it as he broke the corner while running. I remember saying 'Don't kick me!' Yes, I really did hold a grudge. I got in trouble for it, but I didn't feel bad because he started it. I felt content knowing I'd gotten back at him. Another thing I did was call him 'Squirrel'. That started earlier though, almost immediately after they kicked me in the shin. His two front teeth were way out there, and they were huge, and the first thing to call him was a Squirrel. There was a peanut butter advertisement on television featuring a squirrel chasing the container of peanut butter, and failing horribly every time. Brian reminded me of that squirrel. He should be lucky I didn't think of 'Sid' from that dumb ice cartoon. The name sort of stuck with him after that, because no one disagreed with that fact that the kid had giant teeth.

He grew out of his giant teeth and Esther's hair grew back. They both sort of hate me equally for what I did to them, but I'd always argue that they started it by kicking me in the shin. They shouldn't have done that. If they didn't, then maybe they wouldn't have gotten gum in their hair and being knocked out by a huge paint bucket. They asked for it honestly.

I guess they never actually let it go, because now they are practically forcing me to attend this stupid program for the kids of our neighborhood. We went to the community center, which is a small building, about the size of my bedroom, that was originally meant for the teens and kids to go to feel safe and relax. It obviously was a fail, because as I said, it was the size of my bedroom. Anyway, the place was small and plain. A  long, rectangular table sat in the center of the room, underneath the ceiling fan, and that's basically it. There are a few grew cupboards along the wall of the center, and another lone table. I can't believe this was supposed to be a place to relax. The washrooms were behind a wall.

I walked into the small building and found Esther and Squirrel already sitting at the table for about twenty people. Squirrel sat at the head of the table and Esther was sat randomly on the left side two chairs down from the end. I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at them, alone. No one else was there. The place was void of any other teenagers, or any other people, besides me.

"I'm going to murder both of you." Is the first thing I say to them. I didn't sit down because frankly, I didn't plan on staying, now that I've seen its just these two clowns. Esther smiled at me. "Come on, its not that bad. Stay."

"No, no way. You're insane. Both of you." I tell them.

"You of all people seem like you need this." Squirrel said to me and I just stared at him. What the hell is he taking about? What happened earlier? Or is it something else? Did Jonny tell them? I swallowed dryly then walked to the table. I dropped my school bag. I didn't go home when the bell rang. I just walked around the neighborhood waiting for four thirty to arrive so I could see what this holds.

I noticed both of them were wearing completely different clothes from what they were wearing in school. I'm probably the only person who didn't go home and took a shower. Esther was now wearing a dress, a flowy dress, kind of like my mom's, and Squirrel, a black T-shirt, and I couldn't see his bottoms because he was sitting. I was still in my jeans and Tee. I should have gone home and changed.

"Are there even other people who come to this?" I asked, and just as I did, the double doors to the community center opened and I looked back to see who entered. I furrowed my eyebrows when I notice a short girl sluggishly walking into the building. She looked all-round depressed. Her black hair was cut short and messily as though she did it herself with a pair of dull scissors. She wore absolutely no make up and but she didn't have that natural glow girls talk about. She had a morose look about her, with her slightly hunched back and permanent frown on her pale, colourless lips. She took slow steps, kind of like a sloth, until she reached the table and sat the furthest away from the other humans. I think my face remained the same -- confused and sort of disgusted -- from the time she pushed the doors open to when she landed loosely in the chair.

"That's Lee. She's Asian." Squirrel said to me, rather loudly. I stared at him. "Yes. I can see that." I blinked across at Lee as she stared hopelessly at the wooden table in front of her. I decided then to take a seat. I didn't want to sit next to Lee, nor Squirrel, nor Esther. I sat on the opposite side of Esther, same side as Lee, but went down four seats, that way I wasn't exactly opposite Esther. I was closest to Squirrel if anything.

I looked across at Lee. I don't think I've ever seen this tiny Asian girl in my entire life. Does she even go to our school? She's pretty quiet. But then again, she must be saying the very same thing about me. She looked across suddenly and caught me watching her and I almost immediately turned away. What is wrong with me and staring?

"Okay, so who else is coming to this.. This... Whatever this is." I asked them both, not Lee, because I highly doubt she'd answer me.

"Well Jonny's coming." Esther said then looked at Squirrel for confirmation. He nodded his head. I stared at them both and my jaw dropped. I remained motionless for a minute or so. When I moved, it was to get up from my seat and pick up my school bag. "I'm leaving."

"No. C'mon, man, just stay for a while." Squirrel said. I can't believe he's pushing this. This entire thing is a fail. There are only four of us. What kind of crap is that?

"Oh! A new guy!" I turned almost immediately to the voice and again, my eyes widened. What the hell did Squirrel and Esther recruit me for?