Letting Love In

Chapter 6, Part 2

AT THE END of the day, I was at home, alone in my back yard. For once, I wished my parents were at home. None of my friends came over, like they usually do, they claimed to be busy. I haven't seen Rian since school and even then we didn't really speak.

She's been distant and so have I. I don't think I can even call her my girlfriend anymore. We barely talk. And when we do, we never talk about anything of interest. Its always the usual 'How are you' or 'what's up' or 'what are you doing'. Those I-want-to-talk-to-you-but-not-really-so-I'll-just-ask-questions type of conversations. It sucks but that's just how it is between us now.

I rock to and fro slowly on the hammock and stared up at the twilight sky. Pretty soon it would be dark and I'd still be laying out here and staring. I should go out. I should get my mind off things, i.e. Jonny. I need to stop thinking about him. I need to stop wanting him.

The night came upon me, and as predicted, I was still laying there. A cold breeze blew and I shivered, but remained without a jacket; I didn't feel like moving. The sky was void of stars, only puffy clouds moving across at a snail's pace. The trees were still, although breeze had just blown, and now the hammock was still. I just lay there. The only movement was the unseen legs of a cricket as he produced the music of the dark night.

Crickets. I remember being completely afraid of them. I cried over the sound the cricket makes because I was always so scared. It was scary to me that a sudden noise just comes out of nowhere at night, and then stops abruptly after a while. When I found out it was a cricket, I think I was even more scared. A tiny creature as a cricket could produce such a large noise -- that means it could come for me anytime. If it could make all that noise, it would have no problem eating me -- a dumb, childish though, I know.

But that's its nature. To rub its legs and produce that sound. I don't even know how it really happens, but its sort of amazing. It isn't scary now to think that something that tiny could make such a big sound, its actually inspiring.

I got up from the hammock, finally and I groaned loudly. My mind wasn't working as fast as my body seemed to be moving. I walked across the lawn to the gate that separated Jonny's backyard from mine, and I opened it and went in. I didn't even know if Mr and Mrs Regis were in, but I called out his name. No one answered. The lights were on. Someone must be in. I called again. Still no reply. I was tempted to grab a rock and throw it up at the window. I called again, deciding this was the last time I'll call. If no one comes out, I'll go home.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Thank God. Jonny. I flashed him a smile, which is probably the first time since he came back. Jonny furrowed his eyebrows. He probably can't see me. He's at the door and I'm in the backyard and neither of us made a move to get closer.

"What's going on?" He asked me.

"N-Nothing." I said. I don't know if I should get closer. What's going to happen if I get closer? What did I even come here for? I groaned and bit my bottom lip softly.

"Are you going to come any closer? Or do you want me come out?" he asked.

"I'll come. I'll come." I swallowed and took a step closer. God, I need to get closer. One step is not enough. Come on. What am I even afraid of? What am I going to do?

"Are you okay?" Jonny asked softly, when I was close enough. I wish I was drunk. I should have been drunk. I would have been able to talk and move freely. I stared at him and he stared at me.

"Well are you going to let me in?" I asked him. Jonny smiled the moved back so I could step in.

"You're alone.."

"Date night."

"What are they to you?"

"Aunt and Uncle."

"Oh."

His place was exactly like mine. I swear, whoever designed these houses sucked. They needed some variety in their lives. Its exactly the same. I bet everyone in this block as the same house design. What happened to originality?

"Your place is just like mine... Like I have a kitchen table as well.." I said to him. He blinked down at his table, which only had a bowl of fake fruits in the center, then he looked back up at me. I nodded my head slowly then looked around. "I uh I have a fridge as well.."

"Yeah, I suspected that much. But I don't think you came here to point out the similarities in our houses." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hmm.." I hummed. "I uh I wanted to tell you uh..." Jonny took a step closer to me and my first instinct was to move away, but I didn't. I remained standing there, staring at him as he got closer. "Uh I uh I wanted to tell you that that I'm I'm I'm not I'm not-" he was so close and seemed like he wasn't even hearing my stuttering and I couldn't even move away, "-what I'm not this guy you know.." I swallowed dryly. Jonny's hand went to my waist and I looked down at it in slight shock. What the hell is he doing? His fingers gripped my top then pulled me closer. "What are what are you going?" I asked him. He didn't reply. He leaned in closer and his forehead touched mine, but our lips were apart. I dropped my eyes to look at them. "Jonny." He drew me in closer and simply pressed his lips to mine. My heart fluttered and my stomach did back flips, in a good way. I don't think I could have moved in that instant because it felt right. This is how its supposed to happen -- and off goes the fireworks.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." He said to me after I pulled away a bit. I stared into his eyes then down to his lips. I bit mine then shook my head slightly. We kissed again. His hands went around my waist and mine up to his face; its smoothe, like a child's. How does he have a smooth face like that?

Jonny pulled me into him and hugged me around my waist as his lips worked against mine. My fingers ran up through his hair and I pulled him to me. I needed him. I wanted him. I felt like I needed him. He was like a drug. Everything about him was like a drug and right now I was irrevocably addicted.