Letting Love In

Chapter 5, Part 4

JONNY DIDN'T LEAVE. And I didn't go to bed. I went back into the living room and so did he. I didn't sit, but he did. He sat in silence. I stood behind the couch and stared. I should sit. I should sit and turn on the television. Why don't I just throw him out. He should leave. Why the hell is he here?

I swallowed dryly as I stared at him, well the back of his head. His hair was brown, almost the color of chocolate, and thick. I could only imagine how it would feel to run my fingers through it. I remember as a kid I would always wonder what his hair actually looked like, since he would always wear that stupid cap. But now I know. Now I want to touch it.

Crap. What am I thinking?

That's not wrong, right? Its just hair. I can want to touch his hair. I sighed, and he looked back to me. Jonny's light brown eyes stared into mine, and I didn't look away. There is nothing he can do. He's on the couch, I'm standing. There is some space between us. Nothing can happen.

"You like me." He said to me. I remained frozen, with my face stoic. Jonny didn't move either. I don't know what to say to that. Is he right? No. If course not. Despite that, I can't bring myself to tell him so. I licked my lips and I flashed him a smile.

"You're crazy." I finally said. Jonny nodded his head then turned around. I let out a soft sigh of relief. Then he got up from his seat and I swear my heart began to beat faster. I hope he got up to leave. Please get up to leave.

He didn't get up to leave. He walked to me. I took a step back. Jonny continued to move closer. "Don't come near to me, Jonny." He disregarded my request and he came closer. His hand reached out to touch me and before I knew what I was doing, I rose my fist and threw it at his face, with the most power I had in my body.

Jonny stumbled back and held his now bruised cheek. He straightened his back and stared at me as though I'm crazy. I stood there frozen for a while. Jonny walked to me and, without any hesitation, punched me in the face.

"Shit!" I cussed. That hurt more than expected. But then again, Jonny wasn't a twig, he actually had muscle. So, I should have expected that to hurt as much as it did. I shouldn't have hit him back, but I did. I rushed to him with my fingers fisted and ready to strike a blow, but Jonny caught my fist and shoved me backward. His arm went to my throat and his next hand was pressing my shoulder back, keeping me against the wall.

"Okay, okay, okay. Stop. I can't. Breathe." I mustered up. Jonny stared into my eyes. I swallowed, through the little airway he allowed me. Jonny kept his eyes on me and I didn't really have anywhere else to look but at him. I bit my bottom lip softly then let it go as I stared at him.

There was a bruise on his cheek, not as bad as how I imagine I look right now, but it was still something to be proud of. I didn't think I could punch that hard. He, obviously, had the upper hand in that little brawl between us, because he had all those muscles and whatnot. He's built up and strong and its attractive, not disgusting and bulgy.

He was still close to me, still had his arm across me and pressing me against the wall. I swallowed again and stared at him. As much as I want to deny this, I can't. Jonny is pretty. I didn't expect the special looking kid from way back when would grow up to look like this. His face is perfectly structured and he has those captivating brown eyes, and a jawline that could cut a stick of butter. Even with that stupid bruise on his face, he's gorgeous. My eyes went to his lips. His lips are thin, and slightly pale, but they look soft. Really soft. I blinked back to his eyes, then his lips again. Before I could even think to do anything, I don't known what, my phone began to ring.

I heard it from in the kitchen, and I almost immediately pushed Jonny off and walked away. I walked quickly to the kitchen and picked up the phone to answer it.

"Ma, why are you calling me now? I could have been sleeping."

"Were you?" she asked me and I sighed and replied, "No."

"Okay, that's what I thought. I only called to see if you were alright." She spoke in that motherly tone that makes me want to just hug and kiss her and thank her for caring. But right now, I was a bit annoyed.

"Ma, I'm fine. Thank you for calling."

"Wait, would you like me to bring back anything? Is there anything to eat that you'd like? Do you have cereal? Because I think we ran out."

I sighed and looked up above the fridge to find no cereal. "Uh yeah, Ma, we need cereal."

"Okay, great. Well, I'll see you tomorrow when you wake up. Love you."

"I love you too, Ma." I sighed softly again then hung up the phone. She did not just call me for fricking cereal. I shoved the phone in my pocket afterward and walked back out to the living room. I swallowed dryly as I spotted Jonny leaning against the wall and staring down at his hands. I cleared my throat and he rose his eyes to meet mine.

"You should go. My mom would be home soon and you shouldn't be here when she arrives. She'll want to know what you're doing here and I don't really want to explain anything to her." I said while looking everywhere except his eyes. Jonny nodded his head, obediently, much to my surprise.

"Okay. Well.. See you tomorrow." I muttered and bit my bottom lip awkwardly. Why can't he just leave? He stood standing against the wall and stating at me for some time before he finally pushed himself off and started to wall out of the house. A sigh of relief escaped past my lips when I heard the front door close behind him.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what happened or what was going to happen tonight. I don't know if I was thankful or annoyed by the fact that my mother's call interrupted us. What was I really going to do?

I blame Jonny for this. I mean who else's fault could it possibly be? He came back into my life with this big secret of his and now its eating me alive because I have to keep something from my closest friends and I don't know why but that just makes me get closer to Jonny somehow. I'm seeing him differently now. He's not the same kid from back then. He's different. He's changed and now I think he's changing me.