Letting Love In

Chapter 5, Part 3

I KEPT MY curtains closed. I didn't want to accidentally look across there and see him again. I stayed in bed and stared straight ahead.

My dad works shift, so he won't be home until 6am tomorrow. Mom would be home at 11pm tonight. She expects me to be asleep when she gets back but I'm usually not. Everything is so much better at night and sometimes sleeping is the hardest thing to do. It never comes right and half the time I'm struggling to fall asleep. I usually just lay in bed, forcing my eyes closed, and when that doesn't work, I get up and go through my phone. I could stay up until the next morning.

I have no intentions of going to bed now, however. I just don't want to look across at the window. Why must his bedroom be right opposite mine? What's the point of doing that? Whoever designed our houses needs to like... Go shoot themselves.

I got up from bed and walked out of my bedroom. I was just wearing a pair of boxers, considering I just showered and I really don't want to put on any more clothes. I walked down to the kitchen and began to search for food. Mom left back a sandwich in the microwave, and some left overs from what she bought at work. I opened the styrofoam container and noticed it was simple rice and chicken. I don't want that. I scanned the fridge again. Covered over by plastic wrap was a piece of chocolate cake. Now this I want.

I took out the plate and got myself a fork. I unwrapped the plastic and just as I was about to dig in, I heard a knock on the door. I groaned and stuck the fork into the cake. I took off a piece with my fingers and stuck it into my mouth as I walked away from the lovely chocolate cake. This best be Jesus at this god damn door.

"How can I help you?" I asked as I opened the door. I found Jonny, of everyone in the entire world, Jonny, standing at my front door. His eyebrows rose and his eyes shamelessly went down. It was only then I realized I was only in a pair of boxers.

"Oh shit." I slammed the door closed.

"Dude! What the hell?" he asked from outside.

"Jesus! Just wait there. I'll be back." I said and rushed up the stairs to my room. I threw on a pair of black sweats, which was supposed to go to laundry, but I have no time to sit and search for clothes. I went back down the stairs after and opened the door. I was still shirtless, which was okay, I just couldn't be around him in just boxers, and its not because he's gay.

"Wow." Jonny said.

"What the hell are you doing here? Your house is over there? Have you gotten confused?" I questioned and slammed the door shut after he was in. Jonny chuckled softly.

"I'm home alone and bored."

"Well I don't know, jack off to gay porn, why did you come here?" I asked him. I began to walk back into the kitchen for my cake, and Jonny followed me. If he's crazy enough to think I'll offer him, he's wrong. I picked up the fork again and looked down at the cake as I stuck the fork in again to get piece.

My mother is going to kill me for this. I just know it. I know she'll have a fit if she opens the door right now and catches me with her cake. She loves cake, all cake. Her favorite is Red Velvet, but she'll still kill me for her chocolate. But its so good. Its such good fricking cake.

I took another bite and moaned softly. This cake is heaven.

"Don't look at me." I muttered, while chewing.

"Its like you just had an orgasm." He said as he stared at me then down to the cake.

"Shut up. Why did you come here? We're not even that close?"

"You're closest. And I feel like we should become closer."

"No..." I said and picked up the plate to walk away to the living room. Just so he wouldn't sit to me, I sat on the lazy chair. Its simply a long, outstretched chair that allows you to stretch out your legs on it. I call it the lazy chair because whenever I sit on it, I never actually feel like getting up. I get such a lazy vybe from it.

Jonny followed me in and plopped down on the couch. "We should though. Everyone I'm okay around, except you."

"That's because you haven't told anyone else about yourself." I ate piece of the cake. I stared down at it. "I still don't get why you told me instead of Squirrel or Esther or even Rian." I looked up at him.

"You're.." he stopped and I continued to stare at him. That type of intense gaze that he shoots me almost everyday. Jonny chuckled softly and shook his head. "It doesn't matter now, its already done." He shrugged his shoulders. I went back to my cake.

The television was off. And it was silent. The cake was the only thing that kept me from having to look at him, and I prayed that it never finished. I didn't want to have to look at him or acknowledge this awkwardness. I ate the cake.

"See why we aren't close? Because you don't talk and I don't talk and there is just awkwardness. I mean, if you aren't here to at least talk to me, then what did you come for? To stare at me?" I asked him. Half the cake was gone. I think I should at least leave half for my mother, but if I decide to do that then I would have no distraction.

"Well you aren't ugly." He said with a shrug. My eyes widened. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I was joking." he said, but he didn't even laugh or chuckle. He just sat there and continued to stare. What kind of joke is that? He doesn't even seem like he's joking. I blinked a couple times then looked down at the cake again. I ate piece.

"You think about it too much." Jonny said to me.

"What?" He didn't reply, so I spoke. "I don't think about anything too much. Its just that you're here and you're staring at me and-" I groaned, "Can you just stop?"

"Stop what?" He asked me.

"Stop. Just stop. This." I gestured with my hand to him. I took that cue to get up, with my cake and walk back to the kitchen. Jonny followed, obviously. I got to the fridge and stuck the cake back in. I kept the fridge door open and for a moment I was hiding behind it, just so I won't see him.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked me from behind the fridge door. God, he's too close. What the hell is he doing?

"Nothing's the matter with me." I closes the door and just as expected, there he was, staring into my soul. I bit my bottom lip softly and took a step back away from him. "Can you just like stay right there?"

"Why? Do I intimidate you?" he asked.

"No! Its just I don't. Just stop trying to get close to me, okay. I need you to back off." I bit my bottom lip. Jonny remained where he stood and so did I.  My eyes met his, until I looked away. What the hell is this? This can't be really happening. I sucked my teeth then took another step back.

"You should go. I'm sleepy." I said and walked around the table to leave the kitchen.