Letting Love In

Chapter 9, Part 2

"WHY DID YOU ignore me? Because I outed you?" I asked Jonny. He was sat on a bench put in the field for parents to watch over their children. His legs were up on the bench and his back leaned against the handle. He slouched down on the bench and stared up at sky, now dark.

"No, not really. I just felt like I should. I've been chasing you since I got here and all you did was ignore me, I thought I should give you a taste of your own medicine." He said, and his face remained stoic. "Its stupid. A stupid way of getting over you, but it felt good to have you hurt."

"That's sadistic." I commented. Jonny turned his head to look at me.

"Maybe it is." He simply said. I nodded my head. We grew silent. And there was that cricket, making himself and the awkward silence known. I stared at Jonny Cooper. His eyes were to the sky. I didn't follow them, I much rather to stare at him. I think he could feel my gaze and I wanted to stop, but I didn't, and soon he was looking at me also.

"Can you say something? Please?" I asked him. Jonny smiled then sat on the bench instead of lay on it. His hands were on his knees as he leaned forward, still no where close to me. I felt like we were too far away from each other, so I got up and walked to where he sat and took a seat. Jonny looked across at me.

"I felt girly on the swings." I justified. Jonny laughed.

"You aren't girly. You act all tough and manly, like you can actually do something. But you know... You can't." Jonny grinned at me and I roughly bumped my shoulder into him.

"I don't act tough. I am tough." I said to him.

"Yeah, sure." Jonny rolled his eyes. I punched his arm. "I am so tough. Look at that, I bet I bruised your arm." I said. I tugged up his sleeve to the spot where I punched him. Obviously there wasn't a bruise, but it was worth a shot. Jonny looked down at his arm and he laughed. His arm is muscular, I didn't expect a bruise to be there. I stared. Damn.

Jonny's index finger went to my face, where the bruise -- which he left -- was. I tried to make it look as though I wasn't in pain by that small touch, and in the end I think I looked more in pain than ever. Jonny chuckled. "I'm sorry about that."

"Oh now you apologize for scarring my face for eternity." I tell him with a smile. "You know my dad thinks I'm being bullied because of this."

"Yeah well.."

"Yeah well what!" I laughed and pushed him away. Jonny chuckled and hooked his arm around my neck then held his wrist with his hand, locking my neck in. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed and tried to get out of his grasp, but failed horribly. I tapped his leg a couple times. "Okay, okay, okay! You win!" I choked out. Jonny let me go and I immediately stood up and moved away from him. I rubbed my neck. "You can't keep doing that."

"What, proving you wrong all the time?" he asked with a laughed, then he stood as well. I pushed him back away from me and tried not to laugh. God, he's infuriating. He tugged me by my arm and without any type of warning, kissed me. I pulled away and began to laugh softly, but then leaned in again to kiss him. My arms went around his waist and I pulled him closer, while his hands were on my cheeks and in my hair, then they travelled down to my neck. Jonny breathed in before pulling away and staring at me. I smiled.

"Go on a date with me."

"Don't. I don't want to feel like the girl in the relationship. Normally the guy-"

"Whatever meaning of 'normal' you have in your head, get it out." He said to me.

"Okay, okay, then fine. I'll go out with you."

"Really?" Jonny asked. Did he not expect me to say yes?

"Yes." I nodded.

"The Fair on Friday?" he asked me and I nodded quickly, already knowing what he's talking about. I'm never interested in it, but now I am.

Jonny grinned and pulled me to kiss him again. This is weird, and so very new. Him holding me the way he is -- that's usually how I hold a girl. Girls are so different from guys. How are two guys supposed to be together when you're programmed to be with a girl? Where would my hands go? Am I supposed to tune in Rian when she's kissing me? Gosh, I don't think I want to do that. She's a girl and I'm kissing a guy.

"You okay?" Jonny asked me. He remained at the close proximity and just stared into my eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows for a short confused moment then quickly nodded my head, just so I won't look as dumb as I already do. Jonny flashed me a puzzled look. "I was thinking... About something. Don't worry about it."

"Okay..." Jonny replied. He leaned in and kissed my lips again. I smiled just as we pulled away from the short kiss. His fingers laced with mine and I looked down at them. Gosh, he's really gay. He's into the hand holding and public display of affection. I kept my hands in his, just so I won't seem more homophobic than I already do, although I really don't know how that's possible.

"You ready to go?" Jonny asked me. I turned around and faced the field. I'm not leaving the town or leaving the playground, but I feel like I'm leaving something here. Its like the shedding of snake's skin (which is the most horrible example but...). I think I've changed. Obviously I grew up from the kid that played games out here and I've changed but now I've really changed. I'm more open minded, I'm less of an asshole in secret.

I've grown from being a child, but I still had childish ways. I don't think the same way now. Granted, there are some things I would always question but I can still say I've changed. If I'm being frank, I was a really pathetic little kid. Yeah, I was young and stupid, but I didn't treat people well and I didn't care. I even grew up with that mentality and I think I've changed from that.

Jonny didn't change me. I can't say that he did. I changed me. I'm the only one with that power. Jonny influenced me in good ways, Jonny helped me, but he didn't change me. I had to do that for myself and I'm glad I actually did it.