I Was She

Who Am I?

You've been reading my lines

and living my life

without knowing

who I am.

You've been feeling my pain

and falling in love with

the same man that

I've been in love with

for four years.

I am not a very good poet

nor am I an established author,

but I am a hard worker

who only does what she

wants rather than do

what she has to.

I am a romantic

who just happens to be bad

at romancing

because I've been hurt

by the ones I've loved most.

My favorite color is pink

and my hair is currently

and ombre of Electric Lizard and Bad Boy Blue.

It is cut like a longer type of pixie

because I grow impatient

whenever I try to grow out my hair.

My favorite show is How I Met Your Mother

because I want to fall in love

with as much intensity as

Ted fell in love with his wife.

I normally wait a couple months

to watch the last two episodes

because I am never mentally prepared

and I always end up crying so much

that I have to calm myself down

and resist the urge to write a

strongly worded letter to the creators

for such a horrible ending to something

so great.

I am depressed and I am anxious,

and those two guys follow me around

and lurk in my shadow,

so I constantly have to look

back and make sure

that I can't find them,

but they always manage to find me.

One day I want to move to Alaska

to see the Northern Lights

and live in the snow

in a house that was built for me,

but my joints are weak

and I am always in great pain

when the weather nears even

40 degrees on a January night,

so I probably won't move there.

I am heartbroken and lost,

but that doesn't stop me

from loving him

and from finding my way

back to him.

I am nothing without him,

yet I am everything

and my words are

every little piece of me.

I am Marzia

and I hide behind a

laptop or phone screen,

usually trying to find

a proper ending to my novel Papaya,

or trying to do my homework

at the very last minute

in hopes that I can raise

my 1.62 GPA.

My name in initials spells mar,

which means sea in Spanish.

I bet you didn't know

that I am Mexican,

but I am a very whitewashed one

at that.

During the weekends

you can probably find me

in Southern California

for a tournament that my

more successful, younger sister

is playing.

I am a work in progress

just like my poems and novels,

and just like those,

I am a very,

very slow piece of work

that is looking for

the right ending.