All Of The Stars

Lonely

[Inspired by Kim Jonghyun's Lonely ft. SNSD's Taeyeon]

The day of the Music Bank is finally here. The girls are practicing their singing and doing a run through for their Signal Remix + Likey + Heart Shaker performance. While me on the other hand was asked to perform with BTS as V's replacement since he won't be able to make it due to an illness and he had to be brought to the hospital right away. RM and JHope personally asked me along with their members, including V the day after we met at 7/11 that was owned by Heechul. It would be rude if I turn the offer down so I accepted it. Gladly, PD-nim approved the request of Bangtan and the girls were happy for me. I feel special. I surely won't mess this chance.

Of course as a live debutant, I'm going to perform a song with Mina. There's no better person who can sing this song with me but her. No one else from Twice knows. Only JYP, my manager, the MCs and the organizers.

As I was practicing the song by myself since Mina is still busy preparing, I remembered Jonghyun-ah's request over the phone when he found out I'm gonna debut as an idol soon. Just a few days before he took his own life away.

"Jonghyun: I can't believe my student is finally debuting as an idol.

Me: hahaha! I wouldn't reach this far if it wasn't for you, hyung. Thanks a lot.

Jonghyun: hey, Ash.

Me: yeah?

Jonghyun: will you do me a favor?

Me: sure, hyung. Anything for you. What is it?

Jonghyun: will you sing one of my songs? Once you're going to make a live debut?

Me. Seriously, hyung? Did you really have to ask that as a favor? Of course I'd be happy to. You know how much I want to sing one of your songs. So, which song do you want me to sing?

Jonghyun: I want you to sing 'Lonely'. A lot of Shawols will be there to witness it.

Me: sure. Why? Is it for Taeyeon-unnie? Hahahaha!

Jonghyun: yah pabo, the message of that song is not about the person you love.

Me: ehh? It's not? Then why Lonely?

Jonghyun: *voice suddenly becomes sad* you'll understand soon. Well, gotta go, kiddo. Don't mess the song alright? I'll surely haunt you down. Hahaha! Goodbye, Ash.

Me: o.....kay?"

The next thing I know, he was already reported dead. That he killed himself due to depression. That's where I realized the true meaning of his song 'Lonely'. It wasn't for the person he loves. He was asking for help. He was apologizing and thanking everyone who was there for him but he still felt lonely that no one appreciates him and his existence. Everytime I practice for the song, I couldn't help myself but to tear up. If only I figured it out faster, I could've saved him. I could've helped him. I could've stopped him and make him realize that he's being appreciated. That he's loved by everyone. That he's not alone. Hyung... today is the day. Today is the day that I'm going to fulfill my promise to you. I hope it will reach you.

I felt a tap on my shoulder snapping me back to reality and I realized it's Mina who's... hell... stunningly gorgeous. Well... Gorgeous is an understatement. She's the definition of perfect.

"Hey." I managed to say.

"You okay? Are you feeling sick?" She worriedly sat beside me and touched my forehead.

"Yah, pabo. I'm fine. It's just that I'm getting stage jitters."

"You'll do perfectly fine,Tachi-kun. And besides, I'm gonna be right beside you as you sing Jonghyun oppa's song." She gently took my hand in hers and smiled at me.