Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 7 - Toby

I was laying on the floor on a pink yoga mat, my legs stretched out, my hands raised so I could stare at my phone. I was supposed to be working out. My mom had left me here to go work on editing some of her photographs. I had attempted some Pilates for about five minutes after she left but I could only hold my Pilates stance for so long. According to my mom it was a great way to get your cardio up while working your core. I was lean enough that what little core strength I had made it look like I had a six pack and that was good enough for me.

"You look like you're working hard."

I dropped my phone on my face, startled.

"I am. I'm practicing my shavasana." I said, shoving myself upright.

"Shavasana works so much better if you actually lay flat and focus on your breathing rather than your phone." Stella told me.

"Everyone's yoga journey is different." I quipped.

"So what were you actually doing?" She rolled her eyes, folding her legs underneath her as she sat across from me.

I didn't want to tell her I was currently memorizing Elijah's obituary. Because than I'd have to explain who Elijah was and then I'd have to tell her about the letter which she'd of course want to read and then she'd ask if I was going to write them back. To which the answer was I had no fucking clue.

"Watching a skateboarding video." I lied.

"If you spent even half the time you watch skateboarding videos, doing yoga, you'd probably be better than mom." She brushed some of her short brown hair from her face.

"Ah but the thing there is I have no desire to even be decent at yoga. I do however have a desire to be more than decent at skateboarding." I said.

"Yeah but mom approves of yoga, she doesn't of skateboarding."

"You're gonna talk to her still?" I asked.

"Depends." A wicked smile spread across her face.

"Depends on what?" I grumbled.

Her hazel eyes were full of mischief. "Olivia's coming over in like a half hour. We want Bangkok Peppers. Go get it for us."

I didn't want to. At all. That meant I had to drive 30 minutes, through two towns just to get her some damn food. Normally I wouldn't even consider it but Stella was my ticket back to the skate park and I desperately wanted to go. Without having to lie about it.

"Fine. But call it in." I grumbled.

She reached forward planting a big wet kiss on my cheek. I groaned, shoving her away as I wiped her slobber off my face.

"You're disgusting." I told her.

"Yeah well, this disgusting sister of yours is going to go work her magic on mom for you." She shoved herself off the ground effortlessly, probably because of all the yoga she did and disappeared out the door. I blew out a breath, grabbing my phone off the floor. I thought about reading Elijah's obituary again. I was pretty sure I had committed it to memory.

I slowly made my way to my feet, abandoning the pink yoga mat in the middle of the sunroom. I headed for my room, Stella's and my mom's voices carrying down the hallway. I didn't stop to listen, I didn't want to know what Stella would say to get my mom to say yes. Sometimes you just had to let the evil work it's magic. 

Edward Cullen was on my bed where I left him, his ass resting on my pillow. His big fat body stretched as far as it could go in the sun. He was snoring. I yanked my jeans out from under him, he didn't even notice. I let my gym shorts drop, stepping into my jeans and scrounged around for a T-shirt. I was about to yank it over my head when I caught sight of my reflection. I righted myself, my T-shirt clutched in my hand as I stared at the spindly person in front of me. I couldn't help but stare at the scare, the flesh still a little red where the skin was the last to close. Maybe it'd fade over time. I watched the scar rise and fall as my lungs filled with air and then deflated. And all because Elijah's heart was pumping blood through my body.

"Toby!" Stella yelled.

I jumped, scrambling to throw my T-shirt on like I was about to get caught doing something bad. I dropped my eyes from the mirror, trying to wipe the image of myself from my mind and was out the door.

"What?" I called back as I headed toward the kitchen.

Stella slid off the counter she was perched on, an apple in her hand. She walked past me, leaning up to say something to me.

"You're welcome. I'm about to put our order in so make it snappy." She told me.

I watched her walk out of the room, a happy little bounce to her gait.

"Toby, sit." My mom said.

I did, Elijah's heart playing a faster rhythm in my chest. My mom blew out a breath. She had a thousand containers out, all at different levels of full, and a variety of foods scattered across the kitchen. She was clearly meal prepping.

"I'm still not in love with the idea but..." she hesitated, looking down at the counter for a minute. "You can go back to the park."

I opened my mouth about to thank her and rattle off something about how she was the best and whatever when she held her hand up.

"Just wait. If anything happens, I mean anything, you're done. There's a thousand other things you can do. A thousand other things that are probably better for you also." She said.

I'd take it. I knew I was bound to fall, that was part of the territory. But as long as I could hide it from her, I figured I was good as gold.

"Thanks mom."

I jumped off the stool and wrapped her in a hug. I towered over her by several inches. I pulled away after a minute about to go grab Eddy and toss him in my truck to go with me, the fat dog needed an adventure, when she asked me to wait.

"What was the letter about, from Gift of Life?" She asked.

She had gone back to meal prepping, thank god, because she missed the look of panic that sprung to my face. I wasn't exactly sure why I felt like I needed to keep the letter to myself but I did. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet. Or maybe it was because I was afraid if people knew who my heart really belonged too they'd start to see that I wasn't really a whole person. Not anymore at least.

"Oh it was just some survey thing, you know, about the facility." I sucked at lying.

"Hmm, interesting." My mom said, watching me.

"Yeah, probably just something they send out, ya know?" I tried acting casual but I sort of wanted to just book out of the room. "I told Stella I'd go get her Bangkok Peppers. I'll be back in a bit."

I was out of the kitchen and down the hallway before my mom had a chance to breathe. I wanted to tell Elijah's heart to calm down in my chest, that we weren't in trouble, that no one knew who it actually belonged to except me and some doctors but I didn't. I still hadn't been able to say his name out loud. Elijah Aaron Delaney. He currently was my Voldemort.

"Come on Edward Cullen, let's see if you sparkle today."

I hefted the still sleeping dog into my arms, he greeted me with a wet, slimey lick that landed in my ear. I headed for the door, carrying the 80 pound tub of laziness like a baby to my truck. I yanked open the door, dumping him onto the beat up old bench seat. I cranked his window down and slammed the door shut. I climbed into the driver's side, cranking my window down as I pumped the gas peddle. She was an old piece of shit truck, but she was mine. And lately she'd been nice and hadn't left me stranded anywhere. I turned the key in the ignition, the engine sputtered and groaned before finally turning over. The truck came to life, rattling so hard I was a little afraid I might lose a piece of her.

"Settle down baby, we're just going for a drive." I told my truck.

I pulled the drive shaft down, the transmission clunking down into drive. I glanced at Eddy, his head was out the window, a long line of drool already christened my door. He was the best damn dog.