Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 29 - Toby

Elijah's heart was pounding so hard in my chest I thought it might explode which was something I wasn't up for. The average person gets one heart their entire life, I was already on my second and I wasn't banking on the third. Elijah's had to last a lifetime. I took a deep breath, willing it to slow just a fraction.

"I'm sorry." Faith said. She wiped her face with her hands, smiling up at me through teary eyes. "Is my make-up a mess?"

I shook my head, my voice still lost.

She blew out a breath, glancing down the street. I wanted to tell her it wasn't all for nothing. Elijah saved people. He saved me.

"Can I tell you something without you judging me?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course." My voice came out a little breathy, probably giving me away.

Faith shifted on her feet, she tucked that piece of hair behind her ear again before locking eyes with me.

"I already know that I shouldn't think it, that I should just forgive everyone but I can't help it. It's an awful thought I know that but it doesn't change the fact that it's the way that I feel." She said.

Her gray eyes intensified, the hurt and the sadness that usually lingered there was clouded over with anger and devastation.

"I know it's not Simon's fault and I love Simon I do. But I wish it hadn't been Elijah. That if one of them had to go..." She paused, her eyes dancing between mine. I already knew what she was going to say. The next few words out of her mouth, even if I was the only one to ever hear them aloud, would alter something inside her. Because once you say something like that out loud, it seeps into the universe like a virus, infecting everyone as it goes. You can't take words like that back. You can't unfeel it once it's been confirmed out loud. She'll think back to this moment for the rest of her life. And she'll remember exactly how much anger she felt. "Elijah got to stay."

"You don't mean that Faith." My voice was strained and just above a whisper.

"I would do anything to hear his laughter, to see his smile, to hear his heartbeat."

Her voice cracked, giving way to a new wave of tears that fell from her eyes. I felt unprepared. I wanted to console her, to tell her it wasn't for nothing. That she could still feel his heart. It was still beating. I was proof.

"Faith.."

The words were on the tip of my tongue, all I had to do was open my mouth and they would've came flooding out in a heartbeat but I didn't know Faith well enough to know if she would stay, if she would hear me out or if she'd walk away and that would be the end of whatever this was. So I swallowed the words burying them deep within my body.

She had tears streaming down her face and heartache written across every inch of her body. I didn't know what to do but I knew I had to ease her pain someway. Telling her the truth wasn't an option yet because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to bear to lose her. In just the few short days that we had spent together, a handful of conversations over text, I already knew that regardless of the fact that I had Elijah's heart beating within my chest, Faith was somebody I wanted in my life. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I kissed her.

                                  ———————

It's a shorty. But you didn't have to wait long for an update. I decided that spring almost summer was the perfect time to get sick, as if winter had been a walk in the park. I'm hoping it's just a day or two but if I drop off the face of the earth you'll know why. -DBR