Hearts, Scars & Horseshoes

Chapter 80 - Faith

I stood awkwardly at the front door of Toby's house. Even though he had told me to just walk in when I got there, I couldn't bring myself too. Even at Tori's I always knocked, waiting a few seconds and then let myself in. I rapped my knuckles against the door and stepped back into the sunshine as I waited.

The doorknob twisted as it was pulled open. I hadn't met Stella yet but I knew who she was from pictures that were scattered around the house. She was even prettier and more perfect in person. I tugged at the cutoffs I was wearing and gave a weak attempt at sucking in my stomach.

"Faith!" Stella said my name like we were old pals. "I'm so excited to finally meet you, come in. Toby's in the shower." She stepped back so I could walk in. I smiled nervously. "Come here. You have to tell me everything. Toby is so tight lipped. He won't tell me anything."

I felt her fingers wrap around my wrist as she pulled me to the couch. She sat, releasing my wrist and patted the couch beside her.  I sat obediently.

"I'm serious, I have been hounding him for details and the only thing he told me was your name." She said. "Brothers they're such a pain in the ass, I'm sure you know. Do you have a brother?"

I nodded, instantly thinking of Simon who I definitely would classify as a pain. "Two. Sort of."

I had come so accustomed to talking about Elijah at Toby's house that I didn't even think about not mentioning him.

"Sort of?" Stella questioned.

"I have an older brother Simon and then a younger brother Elijah but he passed away."

"That's awful." Stella placed her hand on my leg. "I'm so sorry. Was it recent?"

She was serious and sympathetic. Genuinely concerned and unapologetic for stumbling upon my brokenness. I found myself wishing I had her boldness, her self assuredness.

"He was in a car accident in February this year. The 23rd actually."

I felt her fingers squeeze into where they sat on my leg before she pulled them away. I was instantly envious about how confident she was with herself. If she had felt uncomfortable or embarrassed she hadn't showed it.

"Well then you definitely know how brothers can be." She smiled warmly, reeling the conversation back in. "So you have to tell me everything, seems how Toby won't."

I smiled at his name. I liked how she called him Toby. She said it with an added warmth in her voice, like he held a very special place in heart. A door clicked open somewhere in the house and Stella's eyes darted to the staircase.

"He must be done showering, we have mere seconds together." She grabbed my hands, smiling.

I laughed, a genuine light hearted laugh. The one that had slowly re-emerged since I met Toby.

"If he steals me away, I promise I'll come back and tell you everything." I said.

"You better." She smiled back. "So how'd you guys meet?"

"Have you heard of the The Grounds?" I asked. "Well my friend and I go there a lot and one Saturday Toby and Lars came to skateboard." My heart started to flutter in my chest as I thought back to that day. My horrible outfit, Tori skipping out moments before Toby said hello, his green eyes. "He introduced himself."

She clapped her hands excitedly. "It makes me so happy. He hasn't brought a girl around in forever."

"Really?" I asked.

It surprised me. Even though I was glad.

"Yeah. The last..."

"Whatever you're going to say Stella stop." Toby yelled as he bounded the stairs.

I couldn't help but laugh as she threw her hands up in surrender. "Nothing bad, I swear. Just having some girl talk because ya know you won't tell me about her. Why didn't you say she was so pretty?" She said over her shoulder before turning back to me. "What I wouldn't give for your hair color."

I mumbled a sheepish, "thank you" completely thrown at the compliment. Stella was the beautiful one, with her hazel eyes, perfect skin, dark hair and perfect body. I was the leftover pieces, the parts no one wanted. Boring eyes, short, chubby body, hair too blond and straight.

Toby held his hand out for me and I didn't hesitate to lace my fingers with his long bony ones. The more we held hands the more it seemed like they were meant to fit together despite our differences in size. I let him pull me from the couch, he tucked me under his arm in one swift motion.

"Well you met her, she's real. See ya." Toby told Stella.

He led me away but not before I glanced over my shoulder at the couch where Stella sat. She gave me a wink, a warm smile still on her face. I had barely spoken to her but she already made me feel like we were friends. Like we'd been friends. I felt more apart of Toby's family then I did mine. A thought that had my heart twisting in longing for the family I once had. The family before February 23rd happened. A family that wasn't broken.

I followed Toby to his room, Drogo and Eddy sprawled across his bed. I smiled at the sight even though it made my heart ache a little more. I felt so lucky. So loved. But at the same time so hurt that those feelings weren't a product of my own family.

"Everything okay?" Toby asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I looked up at him, beautiful green eyes looking back at me full of concern.

I gave him a small smile, I wasn't sure that everything was okay. I didn't think it ever would be really. Not if my okay was how it used to be. But maybe my okay was changing. And maybe that was okay. Maybe I could find a new okay. With Drogo and Eddy curled up in bed, with a family that wasn't my own but felt more real than mine might have ever felt, with friends I'd never would have expected having but loved, and with Toby. Maybe I was broken, but maybe that was okay too.

"Yeah, I think it is."

And for once I finally meant it.

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What in the world is this? Two updates? One day? Who am I? What kind of wizardry is this? How is this chapter 80? What is going on?