Retributed

Chapter 25

Retributed: Chapter 25

~Christopher P.O.V.~

Last night was the only night where I felt like shit was finally good. All my focus was on Vonnie as hers was on me and to not think over the issues we had going on. Right now I could look out the window and see the sun was gonna be rising within an hour tops and I ain't even mad we kept each other up all night. It wasn't just us fuckin' each other either- well most of it was but the other stuff was us kicking back and laughing, teasing each other and such just enjoying the other's company in the moment. It was nice and I wish every night could be like that but this was that rare blue moon kind of situation.

"I see you trying to hide that smile." I pointed out with my lips just barely touching hers. Being tangled up with her like this on our bed was one of those simple things that was a blessing since it had been so long since we were like this. Especially with the latest between us, giving and receiving this kind of affection made me happier since it pushed my depression to the side for some time. Looking into those sweet chocolate eyes, I saw the life brought back into them like how they used to be before everything went to hell. Pressing my lips to hers, she remained delicate as she let her hands venture up the nape of my neck into my curls, grabbing a small handful.

"We made such a mess." She mentioned breaking off our kiss as she took her eyes down to the sheets beneath us. Sitting on this bed Indian style with her in my lap, her legs tight around me and my arms holding her by her waist, I liked this. Don't know why we never sat like this before but I too took a look at the mess around us and laughed. "All night with no sleep, you must be just as exhausted as me."

"I blame the mess on you, no one told you to cum like you did." I teased to get her laughing some more, anything other than her crying is what I'm going for and succeeding. "I feel great, actually. Stamina on point, Vonnie. Been tellin' you this for so long, sleep is for the weak." Saying nothing else, she curled herself into me with her ear over my heart. I gladly pressed my cheek to the top of her head, nuzzling her in our warm embrace. Running my hands across her back in small slow circles, I could feel the slightly raised ridges of her scars under my finger tips. "You good?" I asked her as the room was too quiet for my liking.

"I'm good, I just like hearing your heartbeat. I know, weird and all but there's something real soothing to me when it comes to heartbeats. Maybe it's the steady pace or to physically feel your heart beat against my cheek. Could be both." 

A slight shrug to her shoulders, my entire mood drained from elated, playful and over the top to completely heartbroken after hearing her words and feeling how close she kept herself pressed to me. I could hear the true message between her words paired with her body language; she didn't want this ending much like me, she wanted things to be like how we physically are now. At this moment we were in our vulnerable states, holding each other in a way that said 'I have you, you're secure and safe' and this was hitting a raw nerve of mine. I don't care what I'm labeled in the streets, call me a killer all day if you want, a thug, a typical nigga who fell to the drug game for the quick cash but at the end of the day I'm still human like everyone else and as a human, I feel emotions like the rest of us. I'm not one to cry over just anything, I got thick skin for a reason but right now it was hitting me that the woman who has been my rock holding me down for so long and made me feel such a sense of security was now leaving ultimately because of me.

These were damn near the same feelings I felt when I realized just how badly I fucked up when I killed Christian. He wasn't just my brother but he was Mama's son and I took him away from her. The same feelings how I wasn't there to protect my child, and just like with Mama, Bri wasn't just my daughter but Vonnie's as well and I let Bri be taken away from Vonnie. The guilt piling on my shoulders at everything I put Vonnie through physically and mentally because I always put that fucking thug life before everything else in my life. All this shit was hitting me hard one at a time and a tear actually rolled down my cheek. Having to inhale deeply, soon enough I won't be breathing in her familiar scent like I am now.