Random Thoughts🌙

How much more of this?

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine" An endless chant to be repeated. You think that if you say it enough times maybe it'll come true? Maybe if you ignored the pain it won't be as real? Maybe if you don't talk about it, it won't hurt as much? Wishes, oh desires of a naive fool. You hide and cover every broken part of yourself with bandages and lies, with ignorance and indifference. You kill yourself and pretend you're not dying but dear you're as see-through as glass, as limpid as water. Your pain is painted into your features, etched into your soul, carved into your bones. 

  You're killing yourself, you know it, yet you say otherwise; playing pretend as you would when you were ten. You ignore the warnings, shrug off the signs, you don't heed the advice and prescriptions. You throw away the medicines. You'll agree to whatever is said to you yet when they turn away you continue doing acts as you see fit. You toss out the food, you keep the tools of torture, you give in to fears and nightmares, you hurt, you cry, you pretend.

  How much more till it's enough? HOW MUCH MORE?! This will achieve nothing but your own demise and in the end, no one is going to care. No one is going to suffer but yourself. No one is going to remember. You won't matter to anyone but yourself.