Random Thoughts🌙

Midday dismay

   In the afternoon hours, even with the sun shining at its peak, she could only feel darkness inside of her, only death, resentment, misery. She held her breath as the cold metal touched her soft skin. It felt as though time had frozen, the sharp edge digging into her arm. She was shaking like a leaf, her breathing felt labored and her heart was racing like that of a marathon runner. The anticipation of what was about to happen made her feel as though she was about to have a panic attack. She needed to do it, just get it over with; one quick swipe, that was all it would take. She could hear the music blaring, drowning out the sound of her quick and short breaths.  

   She prepared herself for the imminent suffering and finally drew the silver against her flesh. She whimpered in pain, her figure trembling. As she put down the glimmering curse and saw her reflection in the mirror, she stared at the red line. She watched on as a crimson stream started to flow at a sluggish pace. It felt like it was burning, making the girl tightly grip the wash basin. She let out another whimper as tremors shook through her. Within a few seconds, the feelings started to fade as though they were flowing out of her through that opening. She stared at the wound. the red paint, her breathing calmed down, her heart rate returned to normal, the tears gushing had started to slowly stop, her quivering frame was steadying by each passing second. She inhaled deeply and slowly blew out a breath. The feeling of anxiety and trepidation finally lessened. She couldn't look away from the new painting. 

   However, she blinked  once and let the feeling of indifference set in, shaking off the other raging emotions. The girl washed her face, checked for any possible signs of what she had just gone through but was satisfied to see none. Only carelessly wiping a wet hand over the red streak,  she pulled a jacket over her arm hiding the only evidence of her battle with her inner demons...