Random Thoughts🌙

Letters to...?(part 1)

(Trigger warning)

Dear Pain,
  I write this letter to you, words I've left unspoken to you.
  You latch on like a second skin, burying yourself deeper, roots planted to rip everything inside. You come in many forms and in each of them you bring suffering; be it emotional, physical, mental. You are the one that drives me further down this path, pulling me harder into your awaiting arms. You bring me to tears and you break me, letting me crumble. Yet, you make me stronger and teach me lessons.
  I feel contradicted about you. I wish to get rid of you but I also crave you at times; to remember you so I never have to again. Harsh as your ways may be, with it you bring wisdom.
  However there are times that despite your lessons, teaching me ways to avoid meeting you again, I seem to crash back into you; your lesson disregarded and then taught again.
  It seems you've dug your claws into me and you shoot through every time you apply force. Pain why don't you end it? Why don't you give me one final blow? All it takes is one hard enough shove and I'll be pushed over the edge, numb. I won't have to meet you. Your constant presence would mean nothing; no joy or sorrow. Why tempt me with your brief touches or torture me with your seemingly endless presence? Your bruises are on my body, inside my heart and mind. You've already marked me then why hesitate?! Be done with it! It has already gone far enough. It's time you deliver the final blow, the last lesson, so that I may embrace the emptiness and numbness.