all I want

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Trigger warning for me being a sad little shit idk



All I want is for people to just be kind to one another. In fact, one person comes to mind. I just want her to be okay and not have to vent to me and affect me with her CUTTING CUTTING WORDS BECAUSE BELIVEE IT OR NOT IT FUCKING HURTS. I just want to not have to vent on myself and other people. I have a place I can go to but I'd just be alone again and I'm not alone and I'm not I'm not I'm not but nobody's here so am I? I JUST DON'T WNANT TO BE HERE. I have people who care but I don't want to talk to ANYONE. But I do,I just want company, I want love I want reassurance that I'm okay and I'll be okay and I'm a boy and I can love myself and be happy and that everyone loves me and that my mum loves me and that she'll be okay and so will everyone else. But that isn't here and it feels like it's nowhere because I'm so alone but I'm not but I am. Nobody knows what to say to me because they don't know my name and they don't know me or my brain and that's my fault. I don't know what I'd say to me so I'm just saying. I dint want to talk but I do but talking is hard and complicated and messy and apologies never work because she tried she tried she tried but I couldn't fucking accept it because it's her fault and not mine but I retaliated and I fucking live with her. I can't do this I can't I can't I can't somebody HUG me somebody help help help. I'm scared and alone and I just want a fucking hug.

A SIDE NOTE- I'm okay now, everything is sorted out and cool. I'm just keeping this up because I think its interesting to catch it in the moment.

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