I'm trying to help

skipping school

Have you ever skipped school and pretened you're ill?

Is it because you get bullied?

You have no motivation to get up in the morning?

Scared about what will happen in school?

You have a feeling that today isn't your day?

Well I have.

I feel like this a lot.

I have to drag myself out of bed everyday.

I feel like something will happen in school. Something bad.

I worry about what people will say to me.

I worry about if people will see my scars and question me.

I worry about falling out with friends. I worry that there is going to be a lot of drama.

I'm sometimes scared to go to school.

Sometimes it gets too much so I fake being ill. Sometimes it works other times it doesn't.

I don't stay off that much.

This may sound really stupid but i'm actually scared to go out and go to school some days. I'm scared about what people will think. I'm scared about what they'll say. I'm scared they'll joke about me. I'm scared they'll judge me .

Do you feel what i feel?

I skipped school today,  I pretened that I was ill. luckily my mum believed me.

I guess I chose the right day to have off. I've had about 3 crying sessions in the space of 2 hours.

It can be boring staying at home with nothing to do. When I'm bored I tend to think.

I think about how I imagine how people see me.

I think about what they might say about me behind my back.

I think about if people actually like me.

I think about if people care.

I think about how I look.

I hate the way I look.

I hate the sound of my voice.

I hate how I can't laugh as much as others.

I hate how sometimes I have to fake laugh.

I hate how I have to use a fake smile.

I hate my face.

I hate my body.

I hate everything about me.

I think about everything.

So when I get like this and it gets really bad what do i do? I do the only thing I know how to deal with it. I cut.... :(

It makes me feel better for a bit.

I hate it.

I'm not doing this for attention I'm doing this to hopefully help people.

If any of you ever need to talk I'm here. You can talk to me. I'm not going to judge you.

Stay Strong Beautiful People ♡ ♥ I love you all :)