I'm trying to help

my friend from America, Josh! :D

i can feel my depression getting worse.

it's more of a struggle to do things now, even getting out of bed. i've got no motivation to do anything. i thought i was bad enough a couple of weeks ago but turns out i've gotten worse again.

it's a struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep. at the moment i fall asleep around  3am and i keep waking up every hour or so.

some days i just wish i could end it all, and i have nearly gone to do it loads of times but i have a friend from America, he's older but it doesn't bother me, he is just a friend but he's saved me soo many times before. No matter how many times I've tried to push him away when I'm really bad, he stay and is still here. We Skype now and again, he makes me laugh when he tries to do an English accent, he can't do it very well but he tries. He knows how to cheer me up. He's seen me at my worst and my best. Well not at my worst as i wont go on Skype with him when I'm like that so we just text.

His name is Josh, i've known him a couple of months and we've gotten really close as friends. He's my best friend, he's the one i trust with everything, he's the one that is always there for me. He's the most stubborn person i know, but i guess that's good for me. If he wasn't stubborn he probably would have left ages ago, but he's still here.

i have no idea how he puts up with me most of the time.

He makes me feel wanted and loved. His girlfriend and friends have told me that he talks about me a lot but all good things luckily. It's weird to know that someone i met over the internet talks about me to his friends and family.

a couple of months ago i never would have thought that i would meet someone over the internet that would be such a massive impact on my life. But i am so very glad i met him, i know that'll i probably try to push him away again but i hope that he'll stay. If it wasn't for him i don't know where i would be now....

i just know that i love him so much for everything he has done for me, he's been through so much with me and i can't thank him enough for what he's done for me. He's been there for me most of the times I've needed someone, the only times he's not there is when he's asleep or in work, but i know i can message him and he'll answer as soon as he can.

i couldn't ask for a better friend!

Everyone needs that one special friend, weather it's a friend in real life or an internet friend, everyone needs someone like Josh. Someone that is there for you, who loves and cares for you, someone you can trust and someone who is supportive and willing to help you.

if anyone needs someone to talk to i'm here and i'm happy to help you as much as i can.

Stay Strong Beautiful People ♡ ♥ I love you all :) xx