I'm trying to help

cousin

I was looking forward to having the 2 days off school thanks to a weekend.

I started talking to an old friend that moved away a couple of years ago and she had seen my ask.fm and asked who it was.

I told her their names and that they have turned so many people against me.

She promised she wouldn't say anything to anyone becuase I don't want or need any more shit from people.

She was surprised by 2 people who I have been friends with the longest and she had been friends with them as well.

She also follows Mark on Twitter.

The boy who blocked me.

So she can see his tweets and also his Facebook. She has sent me photos of some of his status's and tweets.

She cheered me up a bit until I seen my cousins, lets call her Bella status.

Bella is friends Kylie, the girl that goes out with Mark, the boy who blocked me. 

 Bella's status said  'you post your life over twitter and you still moan that everyone knows.

wonder why maybe?...'

I don't know if I'm being paranoid or not but I think it's about me because the old friend told me that Mark had said 'yeah, I wonder who that could be about'.

to me It all adds up to me I think. Also his Kylie liked my cousins status.

so if it is about me then I've lost her as well.

I've only got like 3 maybe 4 people left now. If they even like me.

I hope he doesn't turn them against me.

I don't see what I've done to deserve all this hate from people.

They all know that I self harm and suffer from depression yet they still send hate. They still turn against me.

I need them now more than ever and they are not there.

If one of them had been in my situation I would have stuck by them and helped them not turn against them.

I cared about my friends a lot. I've helped so many of them in so many different ways. From suicide,  selfharm to homework or helping them find something.

I would do almost anything for my friends,  but unfortunately most of them wouldn't do the same for me.

I can't do anything without fear of being hated or judge.

I'm scared that everyone will turn against me.

I'm scared of being alone.

I'm scared what might happen.

Everyone needs someone.

Even me.

I feel as though my friend I could tell everything to is fed up of me complaining to her.

so I have no one to really talk to.

You need someone and so do i.

If you need someone to talk to or to moan about anything I'm always here and happy to help :)

Stay Strong Beautiful People ♡ ♥ I love you all :) xx