I'm trying to help

alone

have you ever felt alone?

alone when you're on your own?

alone when you're with your friends?

alone when you're with your family?

yes?

well I do all the time.

I feel like nobody wants me around.

like they only want me when they need me.

I always find myself sitting with a group but on my own.

I feel like an outsider.

I feel invisible.

I used to have friends and lots of them.

But then they found out about me self harming and then they didn't want to know me.

I've lost a lot of friends.

I know a lot of people hate me but I don't know why they hate me.

I haven't done anything to them.

I'm fed up of finding out somebody else hates me.

do you know what its like to find out someone hates you for some unknown reason?

I find out that someone new hates me for some unknown reason nearly every day.

i dont know what I've done to be hated.

on the odd occasion I actually feel wanted and not needed. which is actually quite nice.

i felt really happy when a friend chose me to go to the cinema with her and then she chose someone else to go as well.

it was nice being put first for a change.

Wish i could feel that I'm wanted but not needed.

like they want me around and not that they need me around to do stuff for them like holding bags, phones, coats and well basically looking after them.

I guess you could say I'm like a mother to them.

I'm fed up of mothering them all the time.

yes I don't mind but I don't want to do it all the time.

I feel like they don't want me to have fun, they want me to watch and look after them.

do you ever feel like that?

maybe I might mother them because of the PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome )

I don't really know to be honest.

I guess I just want to be accepted and part of a group that actually wants me and cares for me.

Remember I'm always here and happy to help. Please talk to me instead of taking drastic actions.

yes it might make you feel better in the short term but think about the future.

do you want scars and cuts all over your body, people staring at  you?

I know I'm not the best person to tell you to not selfharm but I know what its like to see scars and cuts all over your body, it's not nice.

I'm always here for you if you wanna talk, rant,  or anything else.

Stay Strong Beautiful People ♡ ♥ I love you all :) xx