I'm trying to help

shocking news

This part is really hard to type. It's really personal and I'm only sharing it so if any other people have the same as me they know they are not alone.

I don't fully understand what I have but i'm going to try and explain it as much as I can.

okay so here goes nothing....

The other day I had to go to the doctors to have a blood test becuase I started my periods a year ago and I had about 3 and since then I haven't had any others.

so I had the bloods done which didn't hurt at all. I'm not afraid of needles luckily.

after they took the blood they sent it off to some special lab thing.

But a couple of days later the doctors phoned my mum and said I have to have my bloods done again because they didn't have enough blood.

so I had them done and then it was sent to the same lab where they test it.

I then went back to the doctors the other day and they said i have PCOS. which means Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is where the hormones are producing the eggs but the other hormones aren't releasing it or something like that.

It reduces my chances of getting pregnant basically.

but I will still be able to have kids but I won't know when I can. if that makes sense.

Victoria Beckham has PCOS and she has 4 kids I think.

I also have something else wrong with me to do with my weight.

I'm overweight and while they special lad thing done the testing on my blood they found something wrong with my hormones or something.

The hormones are supposed to hold hands with something else and some of mine aren't holding hands which makes it harder for me to lose weight or something like that.

The doctor said that it's not my fault I'm overweight,  I don't eat a lot and i have always been big since I was born.

I'm not making up this. This is what the doctor told me. I have probably have said some of this wrong but I think I got the main points.

I'm not making up excuses because I'm fat.

when I was younger I was very active.

I done dancing, Tae-Kwon-Do, swimming and trampolining and I still didn't lose weight.

I've had to stop doing all of that because of my knee.  I have two baker cysts and a rough patella (weakness in the kneecap) all in one knee. it can be painful at times.

I got to a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do. I passed everything in swimming.

dancing I didn't do for very long. I didn't like it.

trampolining I done a load of competitions and I've won medals amd trophies.

I loved doing trampolining,  I would still be doing it now if it wasn't because of my knee.

so now I've started going to the gym.i like going to the gym but I feel really self conscious. I'm surrounded by really thin people but luckily I go to gym with my younger brother.

finding out it might take me a while to have children hurt me a lot. I feel like I'm going back to that dark place again and I really don't want to.

I feel like I have no friends.

I feel like Natalie is fed up of me. She deserves better friends than what I am so I guess it's better for her.

just know you are never alone. I am always here for you no matter what. I would appreciate it if someone would tell me if I have or am helping them.

That's all I want to do Is to help people who are struggling.

I'm always up for a chat if it will help someone.

Stay Strong Beautiful People ♡ ♥ I love you all :) xx