I knew I'd really messed up when Connor didn't show up for work the next day. I noticed straight away when he wasn't in the staff-room before the first bell. Part of me wanted to text him, to ask how he was but I knew he'd asked me to give him time. If I didn't hear from him by the end of the school day, I'd stop by his house on my way home.
--------------------
At three-thirty, I hadn't heard anything from Connor so I told Sam to catch the bus to Jess' school and pick her up to take her home. Then I made my way to Connor's house, pulling up in the street far too quickly for my liking. I sat in the car for a moment to collect my thoughts before crossing the front lawn to the door, ringing the doorbell. I was only stood there for a few seconds when Jacob opened the door. A frown crossed his features when he recognised me.
"What are you doing here?"
"I know I hurt Connor, but I want a chance to explain to myself. Please." He looked like he was about to shut the door in my face so I scrambled to say more. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt him like this."
"He's so upset over this, Troye. I don't know what you're going through, but you can't take it out on Connor."
"I know. And I'm sorry, but please, let me talk to him."
"I'm sorry, Troye. But right now, he's not in any state to talk to you-"
"Jay? Who's at the door?" I heard Connor calling out just before he stepped into my view. He looked like he'd been crying, dressed only in sweatpants with a blanket pulled loosely over his shoulders. "Troye?" I forced myself to keep looking at his face instead of his partly exposed stomach.
"Baby, go back to bed. Troye was just leaving." Jacob turned to him, a caring tone coming into his voice to replace the firm one he'd used with me only seconds before.
"Why are you here?" Connor ignored Jacob, instead, looking at me.
"I-" I started to answer him but I saw the look in Jacob's eye when he faced me and I swallowed harshly. I could tell that he wasn't going to willingly let me talk to Connor today. "I just was going to say that you should talk to that student of yours tomorrow. The blonde one with the ponytail. She wanted to see you today."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Um, I'll see you tomorrow." I could tell he didn't believe what I'd told him but I didn't like the look Jacob was giving me.
"Bye." Connor gave me a sad smile in the second before Jacob shut the door, leaving me standing on the porch. I could hear them talking quietly inside and I felt like crying, knowing they had each other while I had to go home to an empty bed and two kids who needed my attention.
--------------------
"Sam! Pick up your shoes from the hallway, please!" I called up the stairs to my son after tripping over said shoes for the tenth time.
"Sorry." Sam bounded down the stairs to grab them.
"How many times have I told you not to leave your shoes in the hallway?"
"Sorry, dad." I just sighed and shook my head, going into the kitchen to get a start on dinner. While I worked, I set my phone on the counter to play some music quietly.
"There goes my mind, racing. And you are the reason..." I sang along to the music as I worked, jumping when the phone began to buzz violently against the counter. Brushing my hands on a dish towel, I picked it up, seeing Joey's name on the caller ID. "Joey?"
"Hi, Troye."
"Why are you calling me?"
"Um, two reasons, actually. Firstly, our surrogate is in labour right now. I just thought you'd want to know."
"Why would I want to know that? I'm not a part of your life anymore."
"Don't be like that. You are a part of my life. You always have been and always will be. We're connected through Sam and Jess."
"Whatever. What was the other reason you called me?"
"I got a call today from our electrical company. I guess we forgot to take my name off everything there."
"I guess. Why did they call you?"
"You know why, Troye." I sighed. I did know why but I didn't want to admit that I wasn't coping being alone. "Why didn't you tell me? I would help you out. You know that."
"No. You can't do that anymore, Joey. I can't rely on you to help me out when things get tough. It's not how this works."
"Just because I chose to take my life in a different direction now, doesn't mean I don't still care about you. And so much of where you are today is because of me. I know that. So I want to help you."
"I said 'no', Joey. I'm fine. I can work this out myself. Maybe I just need to look at moving into a smaller house. There's no reason for us to still live in such a big one anymore."
"But..."
"It's my decision to make. You don't get a say in it." I snapped.
"Troye, what's happened? You're being strange."
"Well, since you ask, my husband cheated on me for three months so we got a divorce. Through all of that, I became friends with someone who I'm now getting feelings for that I can never act on or even tell him. And on top of it all, I'm living in a house I can barely afford to keep living in, just so that I don't uproot the lives of my kids any more than I already have. Does that seem like an okay reason to be acting 'strange'?"
"I'm sorry. I wish it had never happened like that."
"There's no way it could have possibly been better."
"Maybe. But did you say you're falling for Connor?"
"I don't know. I think so."
"Oh, Troye..."
"Just leave me alone, Joey. I don't want or need your pity or your help. I can do this on my own." With that, I hung up the phone, looking down at the device in my hand for a moment before letting out a yell and tossing the thing across the room where it crashed against the wall and fell to the floor.
Things in my life were not okay right now. And I had no idea where to even begin fixing it.
A/N: I'm back and I have exciting news...well exciting for me. I passed my final assessments and just have to do two more days of clinical placement before I can finally be a qualified nurse :) it's been a long road but I'm finally getting somewhere.
Anyway, I'm going to start moving the story along a bit, maybe doing some time-skipping cause I have some big plot points to cover and not much idea on how to fill out more story so there's more drama and fun coming VERY soon...
