The twins curse (Jedward fanfiction)

Chapter 20: What is happening to me?

Edward’s POV

I could feel how a shiver went down my spine, I just could not believe it. How could I forget about her? I was being egoistic again. I hoped she would have gone home, but she didn’t. I’m like the worst boyfriend ever! I really don’t deserve her.

“What?!” John and I said both shocked back to her.

“I have tried to call her many times, but she didn’t answer me. I’m so worried about her John and Edward..” her mother said to us. I was trying to focus on what she was saying, but I was only panicking about (Y/N) where she could be, how she is doing. I didn’t know she would be this shocked, well I was hoping her not to be.

I am so angry with myself, I NEED TO FIND HER!! I don’t care about school, I don’t care about anything at the moment, only (Y/N).

I felt how some tears started to stream down my face, how is it actually possible that I have some tears left? I actually want to go home and cry my eyes out in my bed, fall asleep and never wake up again. I don’t want to live this nightmare anymore... But I need to go looking for her, I want to take her close to me, in my arms and never let her go again.

“I need to find her John!” I said panic ally. I felt how I was breathing heavily. “Calm down Edward, we will find her I promise!” he said, while we walked back to our bikes. “Yeah, but how?” I said hopelessly. 

“I will go that way and you the other way, we will find her Edward!” John said hugging me close to him. I’m always surprised how he is able to calm me down again and again.

We separated our ways and go looking for (Y/N). I really hope nothing bad happened to her. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her.

I searched at as many places I could. I went to the park, shopping centre, everything. I stayed focused, constantly looking if I could see (Y/N) somewhere, but I didn’t. Seriously, can’t she just appear now, I miss her so much, I love her so much...

I want to wake up from this horrible nightmare. I want to bump into (Y/N) just like the other times I did, I actually loved it. I love the feeling of having her close to me, knowing she is Mine.

I was seeing lots of people but I could nowhere see my beautiful (Y/N). Everything was just too much for me, and I could feel I was going to freak out any moment. I was panicking and just want to go back to John, I need him to calm me. I felt how some tears started to fill my eyes, and I walked back to my bike. It was hard to find, because there were lots of people walking by, and because my eyes were filled with tears. 

I finally found it and cycled home, looking around me if I maybe could notice (Y/N) somewhere. But every meter I came closer to my house, the sadder I became. I reached home and settled my bike in front of our house. When I couldn’t see John’s bike anywhere, I knew he wasn’t home yet. I felt how now my tears streamed down my face for real, and I started to panic even more. I was sobbing hysterically, and it was hard to breath for me because I was crying so much.

I walked into our house and went to get myself a drink to calm me down. I drunk it, but it didn’t quite help me, I was only panicking even more. I was coughing a lot, and everything of my drink just came back out of my mouth. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I was feeling terrible. I felt how my body started to tremble. I got the need to rest, because otherwise I would fell to the ground any moment. So I slowly walked upstairs but it was really hard. It was like someone was taking over my body or something, like I couldn’t decide myself what my body should do. What the fuck is happening to me?:((

I felt how my body started to tremble even more and I became scared, I needed to cry again. But it felt different this time, I was scared because I couldn’t control what I was doing anymore. I came in my and John’s room and hoped to see him here, but he wasn’t there just as expected. I settled myself on my bed but I wasn’t feeling well. I got the need that I could throw up any moment, so I walked to our bathroom where also was a toilet. I was still sobbing hysterically and finally threw up. I was feeling so bad at the moment, I have never felt like this before.

I suddenly started shaking very much and could see many lights around me. This reminded me of this night when John and me became twins so suddenly. I was feeling just as scared as back then, see the same lights, and even more fog as back then. I could see how it all came close to me and I walked scared backwards. I suddenly hit the wall and the fog kept coming closer to me. I felt how fast my heart was beating in my throat. I swallowed to take away this feeling but it was no use.

Suddenly the fog stopped coming closer, and I could slowly see two figures appearing in front of me. Breathing became even harder when I could see who/what was standing in front of me.

I recognised these faces as if it was yesterday. They are the reason why John and me are twins. But they don’t look the same as on the pictures I saw back then. They were looking evilly at me and I wanted to run away, but I could not.

“YOU...” One of them said kinda angry at me. I swallowed and said: “yeah?” How is this even possible in my own house? This scary house burned down back then, or is it because they come from heaven?

“We warned you, and you didn’t listen to us!” One of them said. I was feeling hopeless, of course I knew where they were talking about. I became even more scared. “We told you to tell no one about this, and what do you do? You use your fucking powers in public!”  he said. “We did say this to you to pretend people from running away from you, just like (Y/N) did.” What the hell has happened to them? They seemed so nice on these pictures?

“you should have protect her earlier, this is all your own fault! You should have stopped these stupid girls! You’re the worst boyfriend ev-“

“I know I am a bad boyfriend okay! You don’t have to tell me!!” I shouted at them. I became angry with them, angry with myself, for everything I have done.

I tried to get away from them and I succeed. I stopped before the mirror in the bathroom, and looked angry at myself.

‘They are totally right Edward, you are the worst twin ever, the worst boyfriend EVER. You shouldn’t be even living!’ I thought to myself.

My eyes caught something sharp, to be exact it was an razor. I felt that I had to punish myself for everything I had done wrong, I totally deserved it. I saw how the razor was shining a bit, which made me want to do this to myself even more. I took the razor close to my arm, without thinking I cut myself. The blood poured down my arm and I could hear how these twins told me how bad I actually am, and I kept looking at the cut I made at my arm. It felt so good, I just deserved this. I cut myself again, and could only hear these voices behind me telling me I should go on. I was about to cut myself again when suddenly the bathroom door opened harshly...

To be continued...