Mr. Heartthrob meets Ms. Transferee.

Chapter 56

Did you ever felt something very powerful and realistic that after that you'll think everything is true?

Dahil ang mata palang ang nabubuksan ko, my tears slowly slide down. Naninikip ang dibdib ko at para akong nabibilaukan. May kung ano sa lalamunan ko na dahilan para mahirapan akong makalunok ng maayos. The pain in my heart throbs like never before. It's enough to kill my every bones and walls and chamber inside me.

Unti-unti kong nagalaw ang mga muscles ko. Which I wish na sana hindi ko na lang nagalaw dahil gustong gusto kong tumayo kaagad at bumalik ng pilipinas.

I cried like no one ever did. I swallow every lump on my throat not to make a single sound. The most painful cry I have made for decades. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang nararamdaman ko ngunit wala akong magagawa, kusa ko siyang nararamdaman. Somehow, this cry reminds me of how I cry before, painful this time. Worst this time.

Wala nang mas sasakit pa sa alaalang hindi nangyari ngunit buong akala mo'y naganap. I still want to grasp my dream. The memory. Maybe I can go back to sleep, this time not waking up. Maybe I can still continue what has left of me. Baka sakaling sa panagibip ko, maging masaya ako. Baka sakaling ikakasal na ako sa kaniya at baka sakaling magkaka pamilya kami at magkakaanak. Baka roon ako magiging masaya. Baka hindi talaga para saaoin ang mundong ito. This is too kuch sufferings anyway. 

I tried to close my eyes. I tried to go back to where I was. Light. Many lights. Rings. Kisses. Where I have friends, Hannah and Khym. Where Reishel is there for me and I am getting married. Can't I dream for life?

I cried.

I cried even more

I cry hard this time. With sound, with too much pain in my voice. Because instead remembering the lights and kisses, flashes of faces came into my mind. Which made me realize how selfish I am for thinking of my own happiness instead of their's.

Mama's sincere and comforting face came into my mind. Kita sa mga mata niyang matagal na siyang nahihirapan para saaming magkakapatid. Then, kuya kevin's bossy face came saying he's going to scold me for good. Then, finally kuya Marco's face. With his welcoming smile and big tight hug. I want to hug kuya Marco for real.

I hold on to the pillow and covered it on my face until I heard the door opening, then it closed again. Afterwards, sunod sunod na mga yabag palapit ang narinig ko. Huminto ang mga yabag sa paanan ng aking hinhigaan.

"Ms. Yap, can we check on your condition by puting that pillow beside you first."

Then they checked my vitals.

Kuya Marco talked to the Doctor first, tinawagan na niya sila Mama para mabantayan na daw ako. Gusto ko siyang yakapin pero inaasikaso niya pa ang mha papeles para sa Discharge ko after weeks para daw hindi na magka problema pa.

After checking my vital signs earlier by the Doctor he congratulated me for surviving the Medication. I am a rare case of leukemia, so every nurses and doctors that enters my room wishes me good life.

"This is your second chance Ms. Yap, we are very happy that you became part of the hospital's development. Live your life well." Tumango ako.  He smiled then leave after.

Mama immediately entered the room with a very happy face. I saw tears in there too. I smiled at her and hug her tight.

"Mama, na miss kita." I cry again. I will never call her tita again.

"Okay ka lang ba anak? May masakit pa ba? Nak.." mangiyak-ngiyak niyang sabi.

Hinawakan ko ang palad niyang nasa aking pisngi. Kinuha ko ito at hinalikan. "Mama, thank you for not leaving. Salamat dahil hindi ka sumuko. You could've leave but you stayed. I love you, Ma.." I said will full sincerity.