>>lost<< Yoonmin

IX

I stand, settling my bag on my shoulder and hold my camera close to me. Jimin has begun to examine our surroundings and reaches up to tap his lips. My gaze follow his hand, his delicate finger looking even paler in comparison to his plump, pink lips. He glances at me and catches my gaze, my eyes falling in shame. I hear him chuckle softly.
"What's wrong?"
He asks and as I lift my gaze to meet his, it is questioning. He seems oblivious to where my gaze had fallen, so I shake my head softly, avoiding those tempting lips of his.
He shrugs and continues surveying the area, an action I mimic and soon we begin to stroll down the sidewalk. Again there are no words or even gazes exchanged, we simply exist there together, moving slowly, two bodies bobbing along together.
He hesitates for only a second, before he jogs off the path and I am left watching after him, until he reaches his destination. He has come upon a small flower bed, and as he stops he spins around to face me. His eyes are big with excitement and he looks like an accomplished child. My eyes move from his dazzling eyes to the flower bed. There is a rose bush in the center, spotted with rose buds and roses in mid-bloom, halted by the sudden cold.
The whole bush is sparkling in the moonlight, and I move closer to see that all the water that had collected over it has frozen and left it looking alien and beautiful.
Jimin has crouched down beside the plant, his fingers reaching up to delicately touch one of the half open blooms. He smiles to himself and before I can stop myself, I have lifted my camera.
I catch him in the lens, focusing the camera and freeze my trembling hands. On my screen he moves a bit closer to the bloom, he is studying it, gazing so intensely that he doesn't see me move. His smile remains, settling faintly on his lips. It seems fragile and fleeting, like it could melt away any second. Inhale, exhale,
Click.
The shutter clicks and he lifts his gaze to me, his smile disappearing. He looks a bit startled, as if I had woken him from whatever world he had been lost in. I lower my camera quickly and lower my gaze, fidgeting. I feel the heat creep up my neck and over my cheeks, digging my toe into the crunching grass.
"S-sorry."
I force out in a rush. The air is silent and as I lift my eyes slowly, he has taken a step closer looking curious.
"Don't apologize."
He smiles a bit, but it isn't as pure as a moment ago.
"Can I see it?"
I nod and hold out the camera that he takes. I move closer and gently point out which button to click to move through the photos. He nods and clicks it to the most recent image. He stares at himself on the screen for a bit, then raises his eyes to me. I shrink back a bit, worried he will be upset I took his photo. He only smiles.
"Wow I look like trash and you made the picture look beautiful."
He laughs a bit and my eyes must have widened because he waves me off.
"I was just surprised. It looks really good."
He smiles at me and I nod.
"Thanks, I try."
He chuckles again and looks back down at the camera. My words are caught in my throat but I force them out.
"Can I use it?"
I realize I sound like I am being strangled and my blush grows. I want to shrink and disappear and am sinking in my own mind and thoughts but his gentle, easy-going voice is like my life vest, it pulls me to the surface and I am able to breath again.
"Ya, of course you can. Hey, and don't worry."
He lowers his head so I am forced to meet his gaze. His smile is gentle and his eyes are full of a silent understanding. How can someone so beautiful and bright understand the suffocating darkness?
He reaches towards me now, his fingers hovering over my cheekbone. I am frozen in place until he slowly lowers his hand away.
"Please don't be sad."
He whispers softly and lowers his head, hair falling over his beautiful eyes.
"Don't be upset, or scared. Not of me.
It's okay."