I'm tired of supposed new beginnings
I'm exhausted on running away
My soles are worn
My brain is on over drive
No matter how great
Of a gloriously hideous monster
I paint upon the
Canvas that is my
Gut wrenching reflecting mirror
I do not deserve this
This back and forth
Like a pointless tennis match
Infinite in its nonsensical path
With no winner
No ultimate outcome
It's an over and over again
A turn it off
Wait ten seconds
Then on again
I'm worn down on faux apologies
And half hearted "sleep it off"s
I've always wanted to start over
But I always seem to relapse
So here's my acknowledgment
That I've failed a million times before
And yet here I am
Hesitantly willing to try again
But this time
With all I am
Fragile bones
Gritted teeth
Clenched fists
And trembling knees
I will do anything
Not to fall back
To where I began
