The song of ice and fire

The Wedding Night Part 2

Rhaelle

It feels strange standing here, but I don’t know where else to go. I’m not waking up yet and this means I’m still in the past. Still in Winterfell and it is my parents’ wedding night. I look at the woman crying to herself in the bed and sit next to her. She can’t see me of course, maybe she can’t even feel me but I need to comfort her just as she has always been my source of comfort when I was a child. I wrap my arms around her as she sobs and bury my nose in her silver hair. She smells like she always does, of flowers, the light scent of roses.

“It’s going to be alright Mama…” I whisper into her ear.

Some strange part of me wishes that she can hear me and maybe she does. Mama stops sobbing after a while and dries her eyes. There is a knock on the door and my mother sits up. She steels herself.

“Your Grace…” Missandei’s gentle voice calls her.

I see the disappointment in my mother’s face. She knows she shouldn’t have hoped that he would come to her, still you love who you love. Her feelings aren’t something she can quite control at the moment. She reasons that her pregnancy causes so.

“Just one moment.” the Queen tells Missandei. She walks to the mirror and stares at herself, drying whatever remnants of tears left.

I am a dragon. I will not cry… I am the blood of the dragon. I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears.

It’s the same thing she has been saying to herself ever since she was a girl. Nothing can touch her or hurt her if she doesn’t allow them to. And I know she feels disappointed that she has allowed herself to feel so deeply for Father. To have let him into her heart where no one has ever been before, to have fallen in love during the worst possible time, right in the middle of a Great War. It is a weakness, she feels and now what’s left for her is heartbreak and tears. Except she can’t afford to cry or be weak, not when she is Queen, not when she is finally carrying a babe inside of her. She needs to be strong.

“Come in…” She says in that firm voice, hiding whatever quivering emotions that is inside of her. I watch her as she composes herself. She stands regally as Missandei walks in with a few handmaidens. They brought her a tray of food and a new woolen nightdress for her to change.

Mama stares at the food and feels ill instantly. Missandei smiles gently at her.

“You have to eat Your Grace. The baby needs nourishment.”

The Queen sighs and drinks the goats milk. She breaks a piece of bread and forces herself to swallow it down. She changes into her woolen nightgown and lets her handmaidens to undo her braids and brush her thick silver hair. All the while, nary a smile on her face.

“The King won’t be joining me,” She says when her handmaidens are finished with their task. Missandei looks at her and gives a nod. The Dothraki women left the room.

“Your Grace, I can stay here if you want some company…” Missandei tells her and my mother shakes her head.

“It’s fine.” She replies, not bothering to hide the sadness in her voice. “I just want to be alone tonight.”

Rhaelle

My father stands outside the door. He is hesitant. He clenches his fist wanting to knock on it but decides not to. The Unsullied guards standing at her door are still like statues. They don’t cross their spears like they would to the others. He is their King, the Queen’s new husband and Lord. Greyworm had briefed them earlier, explaining to his men and to the Dothraki bloodriders how things have changed. My father is allowed to enter her chambers. He breathes in deeply.

She is his wife now and his Queen. He is still King in the North, not a Warden or Lord. And he may very well be King of the Seven Kingdoms as Ser Davos had pointed out earlier but Father doesn’t care about that. He doesn’t care about sitting on the Iron Throne or about his real birth right as a son of Rhaegar. All he cares about is the looming Great War to come and defeating the Night King. But he’s lying to himself. He cares about my mother deeply. He is in love with her, plain as day to anyone. He’s not that good in hiding his emotions yet. Even the kitchen maid can see how he stares longingly at the silver haired Targaryen Queen.

He feels frustrated, he had gone to the crypts earlier wanting some solace. Staring at the statue of Lyanna Stark that was on her tomb and also of Ned Stark, the father he thought he knew. Father thinks of the child that is growing in my mother’s womb. He never thought he’d ever have a child. Having a son was something he never dared to dream of. 

What can I give him? No name, no lands or titles. And who would want to wed a Bastard?

But he is a bastard no longer. He is a trueborn Targaryen prince. The heir to the Iron Throne as Uncle Bran and Maester Samwell had told him. Still his child is a product of incest, the woman he has fallen in love with turns out to be his aunt by blood. People will talk and they will jeer. They will say all sorts of things and my father doesn’t want to deal with that. He has had his fair share of insults being a Bastard of Winterfell. Enough to last a lifetime, enough for that to be a shield that he doesn’t care for it anymore. 

Fuck it… He cusses. My father knocks on the door once and opens it. He decides that he will never spend a night away from her if he can help himself. He closes the door behind him and my mother stirs in bed. She turns, surprised that he is in her room and sits up on her bed. 

They look at each other, not saying a word. My father walks straight to her and pulls her into his arms, kissing her deeply. They kiss rather passionately and I almost blush. Mama wraps her arms around him, not breaking the kiss and I know that I should leave. This is too private and intimate a moment for both of them. I turn and walk away. I can hear them shedding their clothes. I feel myself being pulled away and I blink my eyes open. Someone is calling my name.

“Rhaelle…”

It’s my sister Lyanna calling me. I look around and realise that we are in the drawing room in Red Keep and she is working on her embroidery. It is daytime and I didn’t realise I had been daydreaming. Usually the traveling happens when I’m asleep at night. This is very new to me.

Lyanna looks at me closely and purses her lips. “You were smiling the entire time….”

“What is it?” She asks and I am at a loss for words.

What do I tell my sister? That I almost saw my parents doing the deed. On their wedding night no less. 

“Tell me…” Lyanna says urgently and clasps my hand tight. 

I do not say anything and look away, a smile still on my face. I feel embarrassed and I must be blushing. My sister is frustrated by my silence and walks away leaving the embroidery on the settee. I sigh and decide that I should help her finish it. I hold the needle and silk threads, gently starting on embroidering the dragon for my mother’s new dress.