"I hate-no dislike you a thousand times that you may never feel because of that thick wall of ice around your heart. That thick ice that no one might break because no one cares to even change you. Like they said, people don't change after 24 hours."...
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twenty - one - i don't like you!
*
From my whole life I had never ever felt so weak from something. The sight of them kissing brought back the sensation of my past from being hurt. I didn't know my feelings back then. But now I understand. The feeling — admiration. From several days and weeks of being with this redhead. I had been racking up feelings for him. Feelings for him that I would never had thought would come back. But now I had to admit it. The feelings arised out from me — the feeling of extreme jealousy. I wiped my tears and convinced that I wasn't jealous. I wasn't in any kind of relationship with him. I didn't have a right to be.
I forced myself to stick there for awhile. Alec had the feeling evident on his face that he was kind of mad. But then he was always the one to be with surprises. He did something unpredictable. He pushed her; but not with enough forced that she was sent flying to the ground. The push wasn't strong. Alec wiped his lips; like anything would've changed if he would've done that. He still would've been kissed. "Elisse, please! I don't like you!" His tone was loud, demanding, and not in the mood for sweet talk.
Elisse was a mess; she was crying and trying to hug Alec but he only ignored her effort. I felt bad for her. Being in the midst of falling inlove I understanded her feelings. "P-Please Alec, please! Just give me a chance to love you, to show you my feelings. So please." She begs showing her desperation for him. Alec hugged Elisse now; he patted her back and muttered something that I could barely comprehend.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't accept your feelings. I like someone else. Please, I'm sorry, but. . stop trying. We can be friends."
I saw Elisse shake her head, "I'll never give up on you Lec, until you're taken." I decided to walk away. This was Alec and Elisse's problem. I was in no shape or form related to their problem. I headed straight back to the car while Kyran sent me a questionable glance. "Where's Alec?" Oh shoot. I forgot. "He's probably coming back." Kyran then stopped pestering me and looked boringly at his steering wheel. Alec soon found the car and sat beside me.
"Have you been waiting for awhile?" We all shake our heads and I ignored Alec. Even though he doesn't know that I saw their moment. It just feels awkward for me. Because it made me realize my feelings for him. But I just couldn't. I just couldn't fall inlove for this idiot. He already has Elisse for pete's sake! And, she already won the competition if we were going to be competing with eachother.
Alec tagged along home again. I treated him with the 'cold shoulder' thing and just ignored him. I didn't know on how to strike a conversation with him. Especially when I see him I always feel the feelings that I had been harboring for him. Okay, Kyran and Gold already has excused himself to sleep. My plan is just to grab a glass of water and walk over to my room. As I was about to sucessfully execute my plan Alec grabbed my arm. "Why are you avoiding me?" I shake my head. "For no particular reason Alec."
He shaked his head. "Ever since I've rode the car, you had been ignoring me. Did I do something wrong?"
I shake my head again. I couldn't explain my feelings towards this guy. Why is it now that I had just realized that he was attractive than before? No! That is just your head messing with you. "And. . why is your cheeks reddening?" I hide my cheeks and utter a short response; well maybe not kinda short. "Alec, you're just drunk. Sober yourself up."
He stopped trying to annoy and I just jumped my way to my bed. I wanted to tell him to stop affecting me like this! I need to really cease these feelings. I huff out loud and play with my hair. To be able to distract myself from these feelings. Ugh! I just hate it having a crush.
"Ugh, Alec. Get out of my head and let me sleep. Why can't I just cancel my feelings for you? Why can't I just stop my feelings!"
