"I hate-no dislike you a thousand times that you may never feel because of that thick wall of ice around your heart. That thick ice that no one might break because no one cares to even change you. Like they said, people don't change after 24 hours."...
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twenty - five - dreams
*
"Funneh! Wake up!" I open my eyes quickly and rubbed my eyes. "Sorry I was tired." Gold nodded and pulled me outside the hotel building. "So are you done meeting up with Calix Brown?" She nodded, "Still the same prick that he was. ." I raised an eyebrow. "Who is he exactly at your life?" Gold suggested me to rest because I was tired. Gold gripped the steering wheel after starting the engine. "He's my cousin, a prick, a playboy, really needs changing." I close my eyes and cross my arms. "So, he's going to be studying in a boarding school as a punishment." I chuckle, "Guys are so . ." I didn't finish my sentence as I went directly to a slumber. Atleast I can forget about you for the meantime.
"Okay! C'mon! We're home!" I sigh and hop off my car and head straight to my house. "Where's Ky?" Gold dropped the keys in her pocket after locking the door. "Job, y'know." I hopped on to the couch to rest my eyes. I hear Gold's phone dialing. "God! Pick the phone for pete's sake! I really need to have shut time!" Gold picked the phone up.
"Yessss, yup, she's fine. But when are you doing that? Shut up, man up or whatever orelse I'll beat you up. Just do it tomorrow! Please!!!!"
I get some shut eye. This is the only way I'll distance myself from feeling these pathetic emotions.
*
I wake up to hear violent knocking on the door. I see a note that reminds me that Gold had errands to run so I was alone at the moment. I open the door to see Elisse — distraught. "Have you seen Alec!" Her eyes were tearing up and she was sobbing. I shaked my head, "I know you're here Alec! Please! Let me explain!" I assure her that Alec isn't anywhere to be found but she just ignores me and barges into my house. "Alec! Alec! Alec!" I pull her hand and sit her down the couch.
"I'll have to find him!" I bring her a glass of water; but she refuses to accept it. "You know what?! I'm tired of your crap! I am not keeping him hostage or anything that you want to think! Because we are not in contact with eachother! I know that you love him so that you'll do everything to find him but please! Please! Just accept that he doesn't love you!" I calm her down with my tone. Elisse glares at me but then her glare softens.
"I'm sorry Funneh, but you are just so . . perfect. The definition of it, you're so kind, so truthfully honest, so beautiful. No wonder Alec fell for you. But I am asking you. . " She was sobbing, she does love him. That was the only sign that I needed. "To let him go, for me." That was a huge request. To let go of my feelings until I find another one. It hurted and I couldn't possibly want to feel that horrible feeling again. "That's what you're supposed to do when you're friends right? We can't share, but one has to sacrifice."
Now that I thought of it. I wasn't good enough for Alec. He was out of my league; Elisse included. But no matter how that limited me from everything. Alec was still special to me. Heck, from thinking to much of him. I even dreamt of him confessing his love for me. But then it all dawned on me; the painful truth that I may never accept. But no matter how hard I had to let him go. Tears streamed down my face again as Elisse hugged me and muttered something I knew was correct.
"I love him Funneh, let him go."
I guess this is it. Elisse deserves Alec. Because of the tears that Elisse had shed because of me; I didn't deserve anything. I wasn't perfect or anything. Elisse, please take care of Alec. I didn't realize that I've said that out loud as Elisse nods and thanks me profusely. She soon left my house making me feel numb. I kept reminding myself that I didn't deserve a guy like Alec.
But I couldn't help falling inlove with him in return.
[TO BE CONTINUED]
im sorry that it was a dream...i forgot to add it out....anyways, dun kill mah!
