The Point of Views of a Potato

#3 - Story Time: I Lost My Virginity Thanks To Fifty Shades...

Yeah, I'm back at it again with another chapter. I was bored and studying like a robot sucks and right now procrastination is at its highest so here I am!

At least act enthusiastic for this update. Did anyone miss me? *waggles eyebrows as the awkward silence thickens*

Well then...

So as the title indicates, I'll be talking about how I lost my virginity.

My eye virginity that is.

Wattpad Clickbait at its finest if you ask me.

With a psycho parent and relatives like mine you think I'd be that crazy to lose something so precious like that at this age?

Plus I don't have anyone interested at the moment. PM me if you're interested-

JUST KIDDING RELAX SLOW YOUR EGG ROLLS...

My cousin is to blame. I was an innocent smol bean. A young sapling. A pure creature. A sweet human being. Well I wasn't all that innocent but at the same time I could pass off as pure...

Now I have dirty thoughts about any living thing...

Anyways, this story took place back either when I just started high school or was about to leave primary school.

It was a calm Monday morning. The sun was shining. The apples fell from the tree. The birds were moaning-

Okay, okay let's try to keep it pg 5 here.

I was home after school watching television. Back in those times I lived with both my mother and cousin. I was always the first person to arrive at home. Being the first person home had it's perks.

You had your own key, you don't have to share the television for a few hours, you eat whatever you want, you walk around completely naked...

It was a grand time.

So I was there home alone watching the TV and suddenly my cousin came home from work. To protect the privacy of my cousin let's give this person a name.

Let's say Ronny.

I'll be referring to Ronny as a him because both genders can be referred to as a him and that will give even more protection in case anyone who reads this knows who I'm talking about (like friends, relatives, the FBI, people who I use to care for but now I don't give two flutes about them etc.)

So yeah, Ronny came home and got settled in after a long hard day of work. After a while he stood in front of me, blocking the television.

I started to complain because.. why was he in the way?

Suddenly, he took out a CD from his bag and held it up for me to see. He gave me a serious look. I don't remember exactly what he said but it was something along the lines of:

Shall.. see this CD? Whatever you do, do NOT watch this movie okay? Do not watch it...

Then he put it where all the CD's were kept. I read the words on the disc to know the name of it.

Fifty Shades of Grey...

For anyone who doesn't know what Fifty Shades of Grey is, it's a film which teaches you about the fifty different shades of grey, how they are created and all those stuff. I couldn't watch it because some parts of the movie would affect my eye sights and-

Okay enough with the grey lies (forgive me for trying to make a pun).

Fifty Shades of Grey is a R- rated movie which mainly revolves around sex.