The Point of Views of a Potato

clearing my head for a bit

step one on trying to be more like jesus: raises from the dead after being M.I.A. for three days. only thing is that I've been gone for a month or so...?

you see, the reason for that is *inserts a good enough excuse*

aight fr though. i know i always say this but I've been very very unmotivated. i've been in a dump for the longest while. if you've been here since the start of this all then you know i wasn't always like this. i don't know why but i've just been in a slum in general. you do not know the amount of times i wanted to get off my lazy butt and head to the laptop to start planning my updates. or take some free time and type a draft on my phone. but it was so hard. it's hard in general to pick yourself up and starting over after neglecting something for so long.

also, i ran out of ideas. it's like whenever i'm extremely busy with school and other stuff, ideas keep coming out of nowhere and i barely have time to plan them out. but whenever i DO have time my brain just shuts down and doesn't start booting up until it feels like. i hate it so much.

normally in the past when i had a lot of readers (well it wasn't much but to say it was very new and had no exposure whatsoever i gained a lot of reads) and i didn't want to update, seeing the view count motivated me. the fact that everyone kept coming back for more despite the book not being all that great meant so much to me. it still does.

but nowadays due to my lack of updates i get less views. now don't get me wrong, i'm not doing this for clout else i would have flopped a long time ago lmao. but at the same time if i get no views then what's the point? i'm not blaming anyone for not reading when i post. it's no one's fault. it's just that it kind of sucks that the book's energy overall just decreased.

lmao idk if i'm making a big deal about this or not but it's just that i care about this book. i care about all of my works, but i'm not sure if it's evident. i have hopes and dreams in terms of me writing on wattpad. i still see this book rising up and eventually being at the level i want it to be. i still see myself having tons of books on here with a good amount of reads. i don't wanna give up om this just yet.

for the past couple of weeks or so i've been thinking about discontinuing/deleting my books on here. and i've decided i won't. i made a promise to myself before starting my wattpad career (which is flopping lmao). i said that whether i have 3 million reads, or even just 3 single reads, i will not leave a book incompleted. even if it takes one hundred hiatuses. a thousand times for me to go missing and return once again. i will finish every book i publish. one day, persons will discover it and appreciate it as much as i do. one day persons will want to support this book. i just need to find the dedication i once had and learn how to maintain it.

i'd always say stuff like, "oh I'm gonna update every single week now" or "oh I'm gonna try harder now... this time I'm very serious"

linda, please. a plastic straw is more serious than you (btw save the turtles my fellow vsco peeps sksksksksk).

this time i won't give you guys any more empty promises. idk if I'll be able to pull the updates off every week even though i want to. idk if i'll be gone for another month. maybe my next update will be when I'm thirty.

(ok hopefully not lmao).

i'll just have to do my best. I'll start with being a bit more motivated and see where this takes me.

as soon as i'm out of my dump, it's over for every single one of you.

but yeah that's all i wanted to say for now. i was planning to do something else along with this but i've decided to let it stand on it's own. i really dk if i'm overreacting or not. it's just that i care a lot about this book. i care a lot about y o u  g u y s. although i'm at the bottom of the food chain, without y'all none of this would be possible.

without you guys i wouldn't even be on the food chain much less, and that says a lot. (ignore the unnecessary sappiness i didn't ask for it either). so thank you. thank you for supporting me from the beginning until now. even if you haven't read all the chapters. as long as you've been here one way or another.

wow, this has got to be my most heartfelt chapter yet. like i've said one or two things that were a bit touching (?) but this... wow.

as of now, I'll do my best in reviving the energy of the book and get things up and running again. even if no one is currently reading the chapters. i try not to think too much about stuff like view count but it's hard not to.

i remember watching a lizzo interview (if y'all dk who lizzo is then for SHAME- lmao jkjkjk. she's been an artist for so long but blew up recently) and she was talking about her being an artist before the extra clout and whatever. and she said something like she felt as if no one was there...? like she didn't have an audience as big as other artists so it made her very sad. (not exactly word for word but ya feel me?)

i can relate to lizzo in a sense. for one, i don't have a big audience like some wattpad users, making it hard for my stuff to be known. another thing is that long breaks don't affect certain wattpaders. for instance, if a wattpadder with thousands or millions of views go M.I.A for a number of months, at the end of their break they still have a good portion of supporters left. however if i go M.IA. for too long then i don't have a lot of support left. i don't know if you guys are either busy with your own lives atm or you're just not interested. and it sucks bc idk.

but despite all this, I'll try to push on. as long as i get the motivation and support i need I'll be good. i think. oof. we'll just have to wait and see. until next time, goodbye my lovelies.

ew. idk why but i felt like saying it so DEAL WITH IT. GOODBYE MY LOVELIES!!!

Izzle,
Sept 20, 2019.