Wolfsbane

27. We share our feelings

Luca kept walking until we had reached the pier. That was a good fifteen minute walk from the center of the town. During summer the pier was full of boats which were traveling down the river, in the winter the pier was almost empty, making it the perfect place to talk.

We sat down on the edge of the pier, for a few minutes we stared at the water. It was a deep blue, which was surprising considering the amount of trash that had found its way into the river over the years. I watched the small ripples in the stream moving around, the smallest change in wind usurping the movements entirely.

Luca was sat away from me. He was obviously giving me some space after my outburst. He was so quite I couldn't even hear his breathing. I wanted him to speak first. To say something. He wouldn't. He was waiting for me to be ready to speak.

I took a deep breath, turning towards him.

"I'm sorry abou-" I said

"Don't apologize" he said "You're obviously upset about something. If you've got a problem you might as well say it"

He sounded bitter. Ridiculously bitter.

I pulled my jacket tighter around my frame, shielding me both from the cold weather and Luca's frigid attitude.

I stared down at my feet. I had been swinging them back and forth to pass the time.

I hated the silence, however I didn't feel like an argument. This didn't have to be an argument, especially if Luca wouldn't sit there sulking.

I moved over, closing the gap between us. I reached out, gripping his hand. At first, his hand was limp, however after a few moments he wrapped his fingers around mine. Squeezing them. I squeezed his back. I didn't know why I was doing it. I was attempting to comfort him however I wasn't quite sure that it would work.

He stared out at the river, not willing to meet my eyes. I stared out as well. There was nothing interesting out on the water. There were no ducks, nor were there birds flying through the air. All that there was, was water. It was killing me.

"Tell me" He began "Tell me how it feels to be mated to an alpha"

I sighed. My thoughts raced through my head at a million miles per hour.

"It's overwhelming" I admitted "I'm holding a hand that has killed, maimed, and pillaged"

He shut his eyes, hard.

"You make me feel weak" I said "and I hate that"

I dropped his hand. "I'm not your territory. I'm not an object or a trophy to be held on too, or to be fought over"

I spun around, crossing my legs in front of me so that I was looking right at him.

"You keep me in the dark about everything" I said "You know that there's something incredibly important that you have to tell me but you just wont"

I stood up. He wasn't responding to a word I was saying.

"I didn't want to spar with you this morning because I didn't want to loose. I knew that you would win. You've been training since childhood. There was no way in hell I would beat you" I said, I felt my eyes watering "I knew it was something you would use against me, I knew that you would see me as being even more pathetic than you already did"

Tears were falling openly now.

"So yes!" I cried "I am overly critical of you, because you value violence and there is so much more. I am so much more. I'm not impulsive and stupid. I can get a guy to leave me alone without...without threatening violence!"