Heartbeat // Grayson Dolan

29. [driveway]

Teala's POV

One month later...

It's finally spring break. I don't have to walk through the halls of the terrible, nerve racking school anymore. I don't have to see all of the other students that still mock me for causing such a scene, or the others that look at me out of pity. I don't have to see the look Ethan gives me when I tell him I'm busy or I have homework, because he knows that I just want to be alone.

But most of all, I don't have to see Grayson.

Hell, he didn't look like he was holding up all too well either. Ever since that day up in my room, he hasn't dressed up, always wearing sweat suits and the most simple of outfits. He doesn't greet all of the people he knows around school every time he walks past like he used to, and he doesn't smile as much as he used to.

But my heart only cares for half of a second, because it is then filled by the anger that I have towards that human being. How he could betray me in such a way I thought he never would.

Maybe Grayson Dolan was doing this all out of self-pity, to get my attention and make me feel bad for acting the way that I did. Or, maybe he's actually feeling terrible. I don't care though, because I'm feeling worse than he ever will feel.

So I am very grateful for this break that I finally get to breathe a little, and see Noah.

But then again, I only get a week.

The time is around 8:30 AM, and the air feels brisk against my skin as I hop in my car, a duffel bag with clothes in hand. I decided to go down to the city that Noah is staying in and spending the night for a few days, just to enjoy some time with Mama.

I start the car and click my seat belt in.

Just as I change the gear to drive away, I get a knock on my window, almost scaring the shit out of me. I turn my head to see the one and only, Grayson Dolan.

This is the first time I've really been able to examine the state that he is in. Dark, purple circles laying heavily under his eyes, Grayson seemed as if he hasn't been able to sleep for days. His hair is laid messily on his forehead, but instead of it being in a sexy swoop, it's in more of an "I don't care" mess. His lips are dropped in a frown, and his shoulders are slumped over. He doesn't look like he's doing so well.

He motions his hands to roll down the window. And despite feeling somewhat bad for him deep down inside, I refuse with a shaking my head slowly.

He mouths a "please?", and somehow his face drops even more than it already was.

I sigh, staring out to the glass in front of me.

I roll my eyes and roll down the window. "What?" I spit, harshly, but even looking towards him.

"Baby, I'm not, I-" he stumbles over his words. "I'm not a cheater. And I'm not a liar."

I close my eyes breathing deeply though my nose. "Grayson-"

"Let me finish." He pauses, coming closer to the window. I turn to him to see his jaw clenching, a look of sorrow on his face.

My eyes fall to my lap.

"I didn't lie when I said I loved you. I love you with every single inch of my body, and I wish I could love you more than that. And you have to be fucking ridiculous to think I'm going to just give you up so easily. Because I can't. You mean way too much to me. You are my fucking world," he explains, his voice cracking in the middle. His eyes shift back and forth between mine and the open world, then becoming a little glassy.

"I did not cheat on you. I did not have sex with her. I didn't even make out with her. She kissed me. And since I'm not a liar nor am I going to lie to you, I will admit it. I kissed back. But I didn't kiss back for forever. It didn't even last a minute and a half before I pulled away and realized what I was doing."

My eyes swell with tears as I shook my head. "You weren't supposed to kiss her at all! You're supposed to pull away or, I don't know, anything except kiss her back!"

"I understand! And I don't want to pull this card, but I was drunk. Seriously. And you know that. But by the time I was going to come and get you, you were gone." He speaks softly, a tear running down his cheek. My heart clinched as all I want to do is wipe it off and kiss his tear stained cheek.

Stand your ground.

"I'm not, expecting you to forgive me now, or to even say anything back right now. But Teala Ruise, I love you. And I am so sorry for all of the things that you have been through. And I'm not going to let you close me out because we both know I am the closest person you have. The only person that will be there for you through everything. Boyfriend or not, I'm always here for you and I will always love you."

Tears fall from my eyes, and I quickly wipe them. "I, uh, I gotta go Grayson."

He nods his head before letting another tear fall. "Okay," he says lowly.

I roll up my window before pulling out of the driveway and down the road, headed for the interstate.

He just put so much on my conscience, and is making me think as to whether or not avoiding him has been the right decision.

And I'll admit, I do still love Grayson. A lot. But I'm not ready to forgive him for what he did. He really did crush my heart, and I haven't picked up all of the pieces.

Yet, here I am, still using it to love him.

-

DrAmA.

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