Heartbeat // Grayson Dolan

30. [i need her]

Grayson's POV

What is she doing to me? Why is she tearing me apart so much?

I'll admit it, life without Teala fucking sucks. It's something about her beautiful smile and glowing aurora that can lighten up a room brighter than the sun itself, and can put you at ease better than any type of lullaby or cradle that soothes an infant to sleep.

Teala has always been the light of my life, whether she had known it or not. I've always loved her in which it was more than just a friendship, for longer than we had even been together.

She may not know it, but she saved me from being the quiet, subtle kid I was back in middle school.

And it breaks my own heart so much to know that I have hurt her, and disobeyed her trust. It crushes my spirits to see her cry, but more so when I know I'm the cause of those tears.

And I ask myself why? Why did I do it? Why didn't I have enough sense to know what I was doing was wrong?

And to add the icing on top to complete my humiliation, why Taylor? Why the girl who had betrayed the sweetest girl in the world?

I feel like the shittiest human being to walk this Earth right now. I lost what I thought I had wrapped tightly around my finger.

I run my hands through my hair as I watch her car that fits her perfectly drive away from me.

I tug at the ends and let a few more tears seep out of my eyes. "Fuck," I breathe, sitting down on the stairs leading up to her house. I cover my face with my hands as if I'm a little five year old that is hiding from a monster.

Look at what she's doing to me.

I sniffle as I dry my face. I just want her back, I want to be riding with her to go to this city that is still unknown to visit her mom, and I wanna be holding her hand and playing with the soft skin as she drives, taking her time.

All I want to do is hold her, and kiss her, and show her how much I love her, how much I care for her.

But I can't now. Because I fucked up and lost her.

Maybe if I sleep, I'll feel better.

I laugh out loud to myself, because it's funny how I always tell myself to sleep it off and I'll feel better, but I never do.

Ever.

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Filler...?

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