The Brooks: My Gleeful Neighbours ( A Janoskians/ Glee Fanfic )

45) Finding A Purpose

As you could imagine I spent the rest of my time in New York being miserable and crying.

My dreams had been swept away from me, just like that. It was the worst feeling ever.

When we got back to Lima, Ryder and my parents were there to meet me at the airport. They already knew that I hadn't passed my audition because I called them shortly after I had found out, and were there to comfort me.

It didn't help though. I had always thought I was going to be a singer and now that I couldn't, I felt useless. It sounds stupid but even when I was getting over Beau I kept thinking to myself, 'You'll be sorry when I''m a worshipped performer.'

But no, that would never happen now.

When I returned to school I felt hopeless. Glee club had always been my escape. Whenever things went wrong in my life, I always had the glee club to make me feel better. That wasn't the case anymore, and now the thought of it only depressed me.

'Well maybe you could get into another college', Ryder suggested, as we ate our lunch together in the cafeteria.

'Ryder you don't understand!', I replied, 'There is no other college! All I wanted was NYADA and now I have nothing!'

Laur I'm just trying to help', Ryder said, 'You don't have to be so bitchy to me. I don't know what I want to do when I leave here.'

'Yeah but you have another year to decide, I have two months!', I replied, standing up, 'See you later.'

'Where are you going?', Ryder asked, exasperated.

'I don't know. I need to be alone for a while', I said.

'Fine', I heard Ryder mumble, as I turned to leave, 'Go mope.'

I huffed as I strutted out of the cafeteria. I was in the hallway when I realized I had nowhere to go, the library would be full of kids, and I couldn't face the choir room.

I was passing Mr Shue's classroom when I looked in and saw that it was empty. I turned the door handle and opened the door.

Throwing my school bag onto my usual desk, I sighed and sat down on my chair. Within moments I was crying.

A few minutes later I heard the classroom door open, and when I looked up I saw Mr Shue standing there.

'Lauren!', he gasped, coming towards me, 'Are you alright?'

Embarrassed and wiping my tear soaked eyes, I sniffed and whispered, 'Yes Sir, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be in here. I just didn't know where else to go.'

'Don't be sorry', Mr Shue replied, sitting down beside me and handing me a tissue, 'It's about NYADA, isn't it?'

'It's about everything!', I cried, collapsing into tears once more, 'I'm not going to NYADA, I'm never going to see Finn again, and even though I hate to admit it, I think I'm still in love with Beau Brooks. Which is crap because he seems to be EVERYWHERE at the moment!'

That was true. Beau and the boys had just released their new single, 'Real Girls Eat Cake' and had announced that they were going on another world tour later in the year.

'I just feel like my world has fallen apart', I told Mr Shue.

'Oh Lauren', Mr Shue sighed, putting his arm around me, 'I know you feel that way now, but things will turn around for you.'

'Oh yeah?', I asked, against his chest, 'I don't even know what I'm going to do next year now. NYADA was my only option.'

'Look I'll be honest with you', Mr Shue said, as we moved apart, 'Mr Walsh and I were talking about you, and he told me about your writing.'

'He just won't let that go, will he?', I replied, rolling my eyes.

'I read your essays Lauren, and they're really good', Mr Shue said, 'And Mr Walsh told me that you got experience in journalism a few years ago.'

'I don't think I'd make a very good journalist Mr Shue', I replied, 'Writing has just always been a hobby for me, I never thought of doing it for a career.'

'Well think about it now', Mr Shue said, 'And maybe look up a few courses?'

'Yeah', I smiled, 'I will.'

When I went home that evening I told my parents about my chat with Mr Shuester, and they totally agreed with him, I should research journalism college courses.

I spent the rest of the night on my laptop searching, but I couldn't find a suitable course. They were all too expensive, too far away, or didn't have great recommendations.

Just as I was about to shut down my laptop, I decided to look up the course that Jessica had completed. It was in Ireland, sure, but she told me that it was a brilliant course! So I looked it up, and I immediately knew it was the one for me.

So the next morning I told my parents about it.

'It's great that you've found something Laur', Dad said.

'But will I be able to go Dad?', I asked, 'I'll have to move back to Ireland.'

'Whatever makes you happy Lauren', Dad replied, 'Although I don't know what we'll do without you.'

'Stop or you'll make me cry!', Mam sniffed, coming over and wrapping her arms around me, 'But Lauren you're forgetting someone.'

'Who?', I asked.

'Ryder', Mam replied.

'Crap', I whispered, 'I'd better go call him.'

With that I stood up from where I had been sitting and raced up to my bedroom.

I took a deep breath before dialing my boyfriend's number, and when he answered I said, 'Ryder, can you come over? We need to talk.'