philosophical Thoughts, Life Advice, and Unpopular Opinions

About Consent (rant)

For some reason this has been bothering me for a while. Today's definition of "consent" to sexual activity and "sexual assault" is so twisted and vague, it's hard to decipher what it means anymore, and this is hurting a lot of men and women. You shouldn't have to ask your partner every 5 minutes if he/she is still okay with it. The responsibility of saying either yes or no is up to both people. You don't need to be asked for consent to give it, and you shouldn't be paranoid about whether or not you're raping someone. Sorry, but the idea that you could be raping a girl and not even know it is absolute ludicrous. If you seriously don't trust each other enough to just go for it, you two have no business in the bedroom in my opinion. I personally like it when guys are spontaneous and go for it without warning, and I'm pretty sure I'm not in the minority on this one. It adds surprise and being caught off guard can be pretty fun (obviously if it's with someone you know and trust) but guys seem to be paranoid to do that now because of all these accusations of sexual assault just because some guy complimented her or something. Constantly asking for consent in the bedroom is boring and honestly a turn-off (in my opinion).

And if your partner is doing something in the bedroom that makes you uncomfortable, just say stop. It's really not that hard to say no. If it is, that's a very serious problem.

We also seriously need to stop watering down the definition of rape. Rape is SEX without consent. It's not someone looking at you in a weird way, it's not a guy invading your personal space. If we call everything rape, then how can we take any rape reports seriously? It's actually hurting true victims of rape. And also, what about men? Don't male rape victims deserve the same love and support girl victims of rape do?

Sex was meant for people who love and trust each other completely. It's about trusting each other enough to be vulnerable around that person because you love him/her. Sex should be discussed before two people even reach the bedroom so there isn't the question of "oh is he/she consenting? Does he/she want it or not? Am I raping him/her?" So here it is in a nutshell:

withdrawing consent for NO GOOD REASON is not okay.

falsely accusing someone of sexual assault is not okay.

expecting someone to take all the responsibility in the bedroom is not okay.

If you don't say yes or no, unless you are physically unable to do so, that's your problem.

It's all about mutual trust. And if you need to constantly ask for consent, or if you're too uncomfortable to speak up, you don't belong in the bedroom with him/her.

btw found this really awesome video explaining the truth behind 3rd wave feminism...