JESSE (Mcree X Fem Reader) | Completed

Chapter Thirteen: Fight or Flight

Even though you saw it coming, your mouth hangs agape. "You..." you run your hands through your hair. You can't seem to decide wether to be angry or understanding, so you say, "Look, I don't know how to feel about this... I'm going to sleep, as you said, we have a long day tomorrow" you give him a small smile before laying your head against the wall and closing your eyes. You aren't asleep, but you're drifting off...

Jesse's POV
Why didn't I just tell her that she looked beautiful? I think to myself as I watch her fall asleep. Her hair's falling into her face, so I sweep it away and watch her stir. Her breaths are gentle, and I smile. If only you knew... if only I were man enough to tell you. I sigh. I pull my hat over my eyes, trying to stay half asleep so i can be awoken easily, I know that (Y/N) will sleep hard. Maybe I'm pushing her too much. Not maybe, I am. What the hell am I thinking, expecting her to do this... Similar guilty thoughts run through my head for almost a half an hour, before I finally drift to a half-sleep.

I awake the next morning to the sound of a gun firing. A shiver runs down my spine as I try to shake fear from forming in a knot in my stomach. I can do this. I can do this. I've done this a thousand times. I breathe in, and I see that (Y/N) fell onto my shoulder while we slept. I feel heat rise I my cheeks before trying to shake it off. I don't want to wake her... she looks so peaceful. But still, I shake her awake. Her eyes flicker open and her eyes meet mine. She smiles slightly. But panic sets it her eyes when she realizes that she's leaning on me. She immediately sits straight up before saying, "Sorry... about, um... that." She looks flustered. "No need to apologize darlin', you were sleeping. Not like you did it on purpose. I didn't mind anyway." Crap. Did I say that out loud? Ugh. She chuckles. I can imagine a scene similar to this many years from now, but I shake the images from my head. I fight the urge to take her hand and hold her closer, it's harder then it's ever been.

We get moving after stretching and mentally preparing ourselves. This is the kind of thing she's trained for. "(Y/N). This is your mission. I know I brought you into personal stuff, but I want to remind you that you can do this. You're not the best by far, don't make this into something it's not, but it confident that you can handle this." She gives me a warm smile and I smile back. "Thanks Jesse. I appreciate it. If I'm about to die, I'll yell for you." She chuckles, her hair falling in her face.

The day seems to drag on, but the tension is ever present, hanging in the air. The sun shines directly above us, and I can sense that (Y/N) is getting tired. "You good, (Y/N)?"

"Wha- oh, yeah. I'm fine..." She's clearly nervous. I hear a rustling noise, and shove her back against the rock and pull out my gun, motioning for her to do the same. I can feel the tension in the air, and (Y/N) stops breathing. She's holding her breath, waiting in nervous anticipation. After awhile, I hear no noise, and in a jumbled mess of irrationality, we both holster our weapons.

Your POV

All of a sudden, you hear a scream of, "Over here!" Jesse cusses loudly, before drawing his weapon again, and using his other arm to shield you. You run into a small cave leading to the other side. You push back his arm, drawing your weapon once more as well. You're nervous, but you feel ready. Then finally, the men round the corner.

You aim your weapon towards the running men, scowls on their faces. Your gun, normally steady from training, shakes and wobbles. They draw theirs, and you feel a bullet whizz by your ear. "(Y/N)! Just shoot!" Jesse roars over the gunfire. You're completely still however- you can't bring yourself to pull the trigger.

Next thing you know, he shoves you out of the way, and you fall on the ground. You close your eyes, and all you can hear is the sickening crunch of their skulls splitting on the rocks below their feet as they fall from the ledge. You curl up in a fetal position, waiting for it to be over.

The sound of punches echos through the small cavern, their screams echoing within you.

Your eyes closed, you see your brother, mother, and father in each of their places. Tears leak from your eyes. "What did I sign myself up for?" You ask yourself. But soon enough, the screams are gone, leaving only Jesse's heavy breathing. He picks you up and holds you to his chest. "Don't look." That's all he says, before just letting you cry for about 3 minutes. He sighs and lets you go. He sits against the other wall of the narrow cave, taking off his hat and running his fingers through his hair.

"I- this is my fault." He says, his voice echoing around the cave. "I shouldn't have expected you to do this. You know, aiming, to- to kill, it's hard. I've lost many nights of sleep because of the weight of this." He stutters through his sentence, a look of guilt on his face.

"I signed up for this though. I begged Morrison to let me in. I guess I thought making the world a better place would be easier." You lean further against the wall, sighing, and a few leftover sobs escape your mouth. You refuse to look to the left where the dead men lay.

"But some things, some people, make you know you're doing the right thing." He scoots a big closer, such a small movement that you barely notice. "I-it's people like you that keep me going. And as of late, it's just been you."

He leans forward so quickly that you have no time to react, and soon his lips are on yours. You pull him closer, closing your eyes, but soon, too soon, it's over. You smile the biggest smile, and he looks into your eyes.

"I love you (Y/N)."