fake rose // chaelisa

flashback (06)

all mistakes are mine

ally ended the call first. she had to go because her manager told her that she needs to get ready since her concert was about to start. (n/a: allison valentin is an oc character she is a famous singer in this story)

i sighed and my hand dropped along with my broken phone that i had been holding up on my ear for a solid hour. my surrounding is once again filled with eerie silence. it used to be a sound that i used to love, but now, i'm absolutely hating it with every second that passes. i don't want to be in silence right now, i want every single corner of my apartment filled with her voice. my ears are craving to hear her laugh, her soft tone of speaking, her cute whines, her harmless rants. gosh, i just want to hear her voice. i just want to be near her. . . i just want her.

but life is unfair because it's the things that we want that we can't have. or maybe the universe just really hates me and doesn't want me happy. maybe i killed someone in my past life, and this is how life is paying me back for my wrong deed.

i rested my head on the pillow and sighed deeply. the idea of downing an entire bottle of vodka without any chaser sounds so good right now. but of course, i wouldn't do that. alcohol poisoning can kill me, and i don't want to die just yet. if i die tonight i won't be able to see chaeyoung anymore. and i don't want to not see her. i want to see her every day, every minute, every second.

"holy shit. i'm creepy," i muttered to myself and sadly chuckled.

using my left hand, i pushed myself off my couch and sluggishly walked to my mini bar. i chuckled darkly when i remember how i used to avoid this area of my apartment as much as possible. sometimes i'm a hypocrite.

i opened the cabinet that was full of different types of alcohol. i know, earlier i told myself that i want vodka, but the hennessy is really pulling me in. i hastily grabbed the cognac and popped it open. i grab a glass and poured the concoction in. should i grab a chaser? i asked myself. i was about to grab a can of coke, but i decided not to. i didn't feel like walking to my kitchen just to grab something.

i drank the hennessy and groaned in pleasure when i felt the alcohol slowly go down my throat and into my empty stomach. what i drank definitely wasn't a shot, because i had to gulp down twice in order to empty the glass. i kind of regret using a normal glass instead of a shot glass. i grabbed the hennessy and poured myself another shot. i quickly drank it, this time using a legitimate shot glass.

two shots became four. then quickly became five. after my six shot, i was absolutely wasted. my alcohol tolerance is okay. i can take 2-3 shots of henny before getting kind of tipsy. now, i was totally regretting not getting coke as a chaser because my throat burned like hell. i feel like satan lives there - yes, that's how much it's burning right now. i stumbled a few times trying to sit myself on the stool. my vision was all messed up, my apartment walls are bending in unusual ways, and my hands looks like a messed-up square. but my foolish self said that no, we should keep going! and of course, me being the second foolish version of myself, agreed. i grabbed the henny and took a swig. i didn't even bother pouring the drink in the shot glass.

(warning: drunk lalisa)

i stood up and shook my head a few times. my vision is all messed up, but somehow i managed to stumble my way to my living room to grab my phone and book an uber. i fucking don't know what address i typed in as my destination. all i knew is that i needed to leave my apartment because my bitter memory of chaeyoung lives here - in my lifeless abode.

i wore a baseball cap because why the fuck not? i'm drunk, did you honestly think i care about what people think?

i grab my phone and staggered my way out of my apartment and apartment building. when i got outside my uber was already waiting for me. i hopped inside, the driver greeted me and i sheepishly smiled at him as a response.