fake rose // chaelisa

forget it (12)

ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

"please don't cry," chaeyoung squeezed my hand tight, she was pleading.

i shook my head and blinked away my tears. her hand holding mine didn't help, it made me feel more pathetic.

"chae. . . you're killing me," my voice broke as i tried to fight back my tears. a fight i know i'm guranteed to lose.

"i'm so sorry," she sobbed and then leaned forward and rested her forehead on our intertwined fingers. "it's my fault. i'm sorry."

"leave him, chae," i uttered bluntly. "for me. do it for me," it was almost a whisper, but i'm sure she heard it.

she slowly lifted her head to meet my gaze. the moment our eyes met my heart broke because she was still crying -- the last thing i want to see is the woman that i love so much crying in front of me. i'd rather watch someone die in front of me than watch chaeyoung hurt.

if only i can take away her pain and fear.

"i can't. it's not that easy," she replied while still looking at me.

"why? you're just going to break up with him."

she opens her mouth but closed it before she can even say anything. i held her hand tight to tell her that it's okay. she flashed me a small smile before closing her eyes and taking a very deep breathe.

"at first, it was all business, lali," rosè says.

that little pet name still makes me weak in my knees. i love how she says it -- gentle and soothing.

"at first, jungkook and i got together as a joke. we faked that we're dating to grab fan's attention and it worked. but as the months passed by, we started to develop genuine feelings for each other. . . but then you came. you made me so happy. i always forget that i have boyfriend whenever i'm with you," she smiled, a smile that's genuine and not forced.

"so, another reason as to why you don't want to break up with him is because you actually have feelings for him. . . like you actually love him," i didn't want to sound so bitter, but i did. i was after all very hurt and disappointed.

"yes," she answered, no hesitation whatsoever. "i love him, but i love you more. i developed feelings for him because i had to, i was kind of forced too. well, for you, it just happened, it was natural and i liked it more that way."

"i had always been a fan of yours. the moment i heard your music i already knew you're going to be very successful. i like your music and i liked you too. i wanted to meet you so bad, and i did! a picture is all i ever wanted, but we got close and that was unexpected," she wiped her tears and chuckled slightly.

i gently pulled my hand from hers. not even a millisecond had passed, and i already miss the warmth of her hand, but i had to do what i did, or else i'd be addicted by the warmth and i'll start to crave for it.

i shrugged and slouched. "life is full of uncertainties. take me as an example -- i unexpectedly fell in love with you," i said and smiled sadly.

"and i did too," she added.

"but it's not the same," i replied.

"what do you mean?" she questioned.

i'm reluctant to answer, but maybe if i tell her some of the shattered thoughts running inside my head she'll understand me better, maybe she'll finally know how painful this is for me.

i shakily exhaled before looking at her and locking gaze. her eyes are beautiful, i can find myself getting lost in them, but i can also imagine myself being hurt by the same beautiful orbs.