True Colors

Chapter 23 - "Jessica Montez was still broken..."

Chapter 23 – Nicholas O’Riley

I continued to walk down Jessica’s street, until I stopped and turned to see the little creek that Jessica and I always used to go to everyday after school.

It was such a peaceful place to hang out at; I climbed a few of the rocks and finally sat down on the biggest rock that could fit at least five people—the rock that Jessica and I shared every time we were here.

***Flashback*** - Beginning of Eighth Grade Year

“I wish I could stay here forever,” Jessica blurted out as she let out a long exhale.

“Ditto to that,” I second.

Jessica’s head was lying in my lap, my legs stretching out in front of me; it was about mid-September, so school had just started up again.

“Jessica?” I looked down at Jessica who was staring up at the clouds in the sky; my guess was that she was trying to pick out objects that were floating around.

“Hmm?” she hummed.

“Why have you stopped hanging out me with at school?” I asked; my voice almost in a hushed whisper.

I felt her shoulders tighten up on my legs as she sat up and crossed her legs, “Just want to spend some time alone I guess…”

I wasn’t buying anything she was say; so instead of glaring at her, I hoisted her up into my lap, wrapped my arms around her and clung her to myself, “Come on…” I whispered in her hear, my lips slightly grazing her neck.

“You’re such a tease…stop,” she replied, “You have a girlfriend.”

Her words hit me hard but I still teased her like the good best friend I am; my lips were right behind her ear as I heard her shiver, “Can you please tell me why you’re distancing yourself from me?” I said.

She sighed, relaxing her body as the back of her head was lying on my shoulder, “It’s hard, Nick.”

“What’s hard?” I asked, sort of confused about what she had said.

“You know what I’m talking about, Nick,” she replied; her voice cracking a little as she moved herself off of my lap and back onto the rock, “It’s hard to see you with her…it’s hard for me to just sit there and watch you two flirt all the time.”

I could see the hurt in her eyes; Jessica’s eyes always seemed to tell a story when she was hurt or upset about something, but lately her eyes told a story every single day—ever since I had met Laura.

“Is that why you’re in the library?” I asked, moving her bangs away from her right eye.

She simply nodded and then sighed, “I feel like I’ve been replace; I mean Laura’s pretty, outgoing, funny…she’s just…” she paused and did a quick sniffle, “she’s just…everything I’m not.”

I gathered Jessica into a hug as she played with her tiny skull bracelet that I had gotten her for Christmas, last year. She was always wearing it…even though it seemed like she didn’t want to. For one thing I knew, was that the Jessica I knew and the Jessica I loved was gone—she was broke; and I couldn’t fix her.

“Back here again?” a very familiar voice asked.

I turned my head to see Jessica climbing ‘our’ rock and settle down some-what next to where I was sitting.

“Yeah…” I replied, pulling my hood over my head again.

“Why are you here?” she asked, a little too harshly.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I honestly don’t know…I needed somewhere to go, needed some time to think about everything.”

Jessica sighed a little as she turned my head and pulled my hood down, “You know I don’t hate you right?”

I shook my head, “Don’t tell me that…”

Man I was really bipolar—twenty minutes ago I was longing for Jessica to come to my side and be with me—and now I didn’t want to talk to her or anyone else at all.

There was the hurt again, when I looked back into her eyes; she quickly glanced away down at the creek and exhaled, “Katie told me…”

I snapped my neck at her; “S-she did?” she just looked at me for a moment and then nodded.

“You know, something like that can really hurt a girl you know?? Just because you’re falling out of love with someone doesn’t mean that the person that you used to love will just come running back into your arms, you know that right?” Jessica’s voice was getting louder and louder with each word—and when she did that, it was clear that she was either angry or disappointed.

“I do now…’cause basically, right now, you’re telling me the same exact thing that Katie told me about an hour ago,” I replied, standing up on the rock.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she shouted to me as I climbed down.

When I go to the bottom, Jessica was close behind me, causing me to jump a little, “I don’t know anymore…”

I pulled my hood up again, shoved my hands in my pockets and started to walk away.

“If you really loved me you wouldn’t be walking away from me, Nicholas,” Jessica spoke. She grabbed the back of my hoodie and spun me around.

“What do you want from me, Jessica?” I replied; “Guess I’m not the only bipolar person here.”

Jessica scoffed a little and then looked me in the eyes, “what the hell are you talking about?!”

“You want to know?” I exclaimed. I took her silence as a yes, “Okay, well, about an hour ago, I was longing for you to come back, come tell me everything was going to be okay, but now I don’t even want to talk to anyone! I don’t want to see anyone, I want to be by my freaking self….and now you’re showing up here and telling me all of this crap; telling me that you don’t hate me when basically only an hour and a half ago, you hated me with everything you had!” my hands flew up in the air. Jessica was speechless; she just stood there with her mouth forming a small “o” shape.

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes; I pulled my hood up—again—turned on my heel and started walking again.

I turned to look at Jessica…one last time…she was collapsed onto the grass and just staring at her hands, then turned to keep walking. If I really thought about it, Jessica was in dire need of fixing…her dad is basically on the hunt looking for her—probably even trying to kill her—her friend is in the hospital and her good friends aren’t even there for her when she needs them…

Jessica Montez was still broken…